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2.12.15

EMAIL TO THE BUILDER - 100 word story

EMAIL to HYDDEN HOLMES : Our ref: New Build No:3847
Sirs
We are in receipt of your final invoice for the above property, which we will only settle when you have completed the work to our satisfaction.

Your architectural drawings showed an idyllic rural setting, not this urban wasteland in the shadow of high-rise offices, and the admittedly well-constructed underground dwelling is ruined by the stench of sewage which indicates a serious malfunction in the extraction system.

The major problem is with the access. In view of recent world events, we ordered the Deluxe version with concealed entrance which, from the attached photograph, it is clear you have failed to deliver.

Regards.

..................................................................................
Yet another swiftly-written story, prompted by the photo taken by Roger Bultot and posted on Rochelle's blog  https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/  for Friday Fictioneers.  To read how other writers interpreted the photo, follow the Blue Frog trail on her blog.



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31 comments:

  1. Annalisa Crawford02/12/2015, 18:01

    Nice take on the photo. A difficult one, this week. I'd have been stumped. The photo itself raises many questions!

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    Replies
    1. liz young02/12/2015, 22:18

      It does. I even considered a Dr Whoo take-off, but my knowledge of that programme is too limited!

      Delete
  2. brudberg02/12/2015, 20:34

    Ha.. that was a great idea.. I would say that some errors has been made in the marketing of said property...

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    Replies
    1. liz young02/12/2015, 22:19

      First rule of house-buying - never trust an estate agent.

      Delete
  3. Sandra Crook03/12/2015, 07:23

    I've got to admit, it's not much as concealed entrances go. Such a different take on the prompt. :)

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  4. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields03/12/2015, 10:12

    Dear Liz,

    I love the letter form you used to tell the story. I hope her issues will be addressed in short order. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    Replies
    1. liz young03/12/2015, 14:08

      Thanks Rochelle. We've had a few building issues recently, which possibly prompted this take on the photo!

      Delete
  5. Dale03/12/2015, 13:21

    This was a great read! I have to agree, the so-called concealed entrance isn't so much so!

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    Replies
    1. liz young03/12/2015, 14:09

      Thanks Dale - not so much hidden as obvious!

      Delete
  6. Patsy03/12/2015, 18:00

    Those builders are cowboys!

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  7. liz young03/12/2015, 19:51

    Thanks Loma - good builders are even harder to find!

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  8. Russell03/12/2015, 23:23

    Great take on the prompt, Liz. The entrance can probably be fixed, but I don't have much confidence in removing the sewage smell.

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    Replies
    1. liz young04/12/2015, 10:10

      Especially if the builders have fake qualifications. (Guess who's been watching Fake Britain this morning?)

      Delete
  9. Anonymous04/12/2015, 14:56

    Isn't it always the case with builders... Nice format for the story and it was subtly funny.

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    Replies
    1. liz young04/12/2015, 16:52

      Yhsnkd Sndumsni - and I'm glad the humour came through.

      Delete
  10. Deborah Drucker04/12/2015, 19:11

    Not a concealed entrance and the sewage would not be a plus. :)

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  11. Gah Learner04/12/2015, 23:02

    Well, if you want to hide from the world's harsh realities underground, you gotta live with the smell and the rats. Great story, I love it.

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    Replies
    1. liz young05/12/2015, 20:38

      Not if you've paid top dollar for a reliable extraction system!

      Delete
  12. Anonymous05/12/2015, 13:11

    Bureaucracy survives Armageddon? This is a really sad story.

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    Replies
    1. liz young05/12/2015, 20:38

      Burreaucracy will survive everything!

      Delete
    2. liz young05/12/2015, 20:39

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. liz young05/12/2015, 20:43

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  13. margirene07/12/2015, 01:59

    This is great. I love the language of the email - so polite and understated. I am a bit worried, as we are about to engage a builder to construct our new house. I'll be very careful to monitor its progress after reading your story.

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    Replies
    1. liz young07/12/2015, 16:38

      You're having a house built? How wonderful - and the best of luck!

      Delete
  14. Roger07/12/2015, 03:07

    A unique take on the way to present your story. Enjoyed! (My second try to comment... the first one glitched?)

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    Replies
    1. liz young07/12/2015, 16:39

      thanks for persevering, Roger - and I'm glad you enjoyed my story.

      Delete
  15. Subroto07/12/2015, 12:32

    Love the official tone in this letter. Very believable.

    ReplyDelete

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