A PATH MUCH TRAVELLED
Jack and
Jill went up the hill, via the chalk path which had been worn deep into the headland by generations
of courting couples, in search of a warm, unoccupied hollow.
Jill’s
mother watched them go, her arms stilled in soap-suds. Twenty years ago she’d
climbed that path with her boyfriend, and consequently her dreams of
escaping her home town were shattered. She returned to her chores, praying that
Jill would be more careful.
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I feel obliged to mention that, although two of my four children were unplanned, they were all equally welcomed and loved.
Thanks to Sandra Crook for the photo that prompts this week's ventures into flash fiction by the members of the Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle, who is the recently-published author of Please Say Kaddish For Me. Follow the Blue Frog trail from her blog at https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/ to read dozens of other sotries.
I've walked up that path myself - but I was a good girl!
ReplyDeleteReally? Where is it and hteep, exactly?
DeleteHa ha - another peep into the world of your imagination, Lizy - loved it!
ReplyDeleteThanks - it's a muddled world at best!
DeleteDear Liz,
ReplyDeleteWhat a fabulous twist on Jack and Jill. You wrote an entire novel in 100 words. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle - now if my 100,000 word novel finds an agent I shall be even happier!
DeleteI think they are wise enough not to tumble quite yet... :-)
ReplyDeleteTimes have changed.
DeleteThis was very well done. And I hope Jack does. And Jill doesn't.
ReplyDeleteExactly - as I hoped for my children twenty years ago!
DeleteExactly - as I hoped for my children twenty years ago!
DeleteOnly if you're a window cleaner.
ReplyDeleteSeems like virtue is no longer its own reward
ReplyDeletethat's a bit deep for a Friday!
DeleteReally nicely done.
ReplyDeleteThanks you ottiliah
DeleteSo we finally get some of Jack and Jill's back story. Nice piece.
ReplyDeleteThanks Chris - my first draft was much darker!
DeleteThat's very cute. I love the thoughts of the two parents. Let's hope the kids know what they do.
ReplyDeleteEven if they dont, I know from experience that their respective parents can do nothing to stop them!
DeleteWell, this is quite a unique take on the prompt, Liz. I like how you incorporated the nursery rhyme into your story. it works well! Let's hope no one falls and breaks his/her crown.
ReplyDeleteI toyed with the idea of a complete rewrite of the nursery rhyme, but this worked better for me.
DeleteOne person's sadness is another's happiness...
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, Dale.
DeleteLoved the side thoughts of the parents.... Although, maybe the story was actually about teh parents?
ReplyDeleteI didn't think that deeply about it, roger - it simply evolved!
Delete