OVIDUCT
The entrance beckoned across the
dinosaur theme park – gentle curves in the warm white of a breakfast egg. The
children clamoured, so I paid the entry fee.
I walked easily through the first two
arches, but when the third one touched my hair I felt a frisson of unease.
“Wait for me!” I called, but they scampered ahead, and by the time I’d ducked
through arches four and five they were nowhere to be seen. Childish giggles
drew me further in until I was crawling on hands and knees.
When I couldn’t even force my
shoulders through, the screaming started.
........................................................................
I'm late on parade this week. I had my second cataract operation on Tuesday, and at the moment I'm managing with off-the-shelf reading glasses.
Today's prompt photo was taken by Dale Rogerson and posted by Rochelle on her blog https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/ You can follow the Blue Frog link from there to read other stories, after you've commented on mine, of course. Thank you.
A wonderfully atmospheric claustrophobic piece! Creepy, great!
ReplyDeleteClick here to read my tale!
Thank you Keith - I'm happy the claustrophobia came through.
DeleteYikes!
ReplyDeleteScared you, did I?
DeleteAn eggciting read!
ReplyDeleteGroan! Thanks for reading, Paige.
ReplyDeleteOh boy. That doesn't sound good at all. Poor little ones.
ReplyDeleteTheir mother will never forgive herself either.
Delete'Oviduct' is a great title for this prompt. Hopefully someone gets her out okay. Nice take.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading, iain.
DeleteEEEK! She better start backing up. Sorry kids!
ReplyDeleteOne of my worst recurring nightmares is walking down a corridor (or stairs), following others, not able to see what's ahead, getting this sinister feeling... It would be one worse yet if I had to crawl.
Christine's Collection
One of mine is similar - started, I believe, by Alice in Wonderland.
DeleteGreat story. Your writing really conveys a sense of fear. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jan - the photo gave me the creeps, so writing fear came far too easily.
DeleteDear Liz,
ReplyDeleteI could feel the walls closing in on me. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle - horrid feeling, isn't it.
DeleteVery scary. The perfect trap. Great and very original story.
ReplyDeleteNot being able to reach and save the children - every parent's nightmare.
DeleteNope... not a path I would like to take...
ReplyDeleteNeither would I, Dale - thanks for commenting.
DeleteThe narrowing of the corridor is what struck me too. Love the title.
ReplyDeleteThe title was the first one that came to mind, after which I couldn't think of another. Thanks for reading.
DeleteThere is something of a perspective here... the concept of a constriction the children could pass is ingenuous...
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading, Bjorn.
DeleteLoved your take on the prompt and a well told story.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dahlia.
DeleteYeek, I really hope this is just a nightmare she's having...
ReplyDeleteI have a theory that constriction nightmares might be memories of being born, but of course it's unprovable.
DeleteYikes! I think I would have quit while I was ahead. Delightfully creepy.
ReplyDeleteRetrieving the children would present a problem, though!
DeleteYour story made me feel claustrophobic, Liz. Even the walls here appear to be closing in now. Well done.
ReplyDeleteSorry Russell!
DeleteVery good! enjoyed it
ReplyDeleteJames Hargreaves
Thank you James.
DeleteScary. I don't know how cave explorers do it. I'd be scarred stiff. Being responsible for children would be worse. Good writing, Liz. I'm glad to hear your eye operation went well. :) --- Suzanne
ReplyDeleteI can't watch those underground programmes, or even worse, underwater - i have to leave the room.
DeleteNah na na nah nah! Scared you!!
ReplyDelete