FLIGHT
Father said they wouldn’t come this
way, but this morning we could no longer ignore the thunder of guns.
“Ten minutes!” Grandfather roared,
and like hens we scattered, gathering food, clothes, and suddenly precious
things – mother’s mixing bowl, father’s books, my doll – and piled into the
motorcars.
We could actually see the enemy when
we reached the ferry.
“Everyone!” Grandfather ordered, and all, from eighty to eight, hauled on the rough rope, bullets hitting the leather seats to prove that our lives depended on speed.
As Father’s axe cut the rope I cooled
my burning palms in mud. Mother scolded but she was smiling.
...................................................................
My regular readers may recognise this week's photo prompt, taken by Al Forbes, as it was used on Friday Fictioneers last year, but this is a completely new story. If you'd like to read what I wrote before you can find it archived in February 2016.
Thanks to Rochelle @ https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/ for hosting FF - follow the link on her blog to read many other and vastly different stories.
Oh - and welcome to James, who has become my 100th follower - check out his blog @ http://jthargreaves.blogspot.com/ for longer short stories.
Great action scene Lizy. What lies in store fro them in the future I wonder.
ReplyDeleteThey'll have each other, which is a good start.
DeleteI could totally feel the tension as I read this!
ReplyDeleteThanks Dale, glad it worked for you.
DeleteI sensed the urgency and the fear. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThey were definitely in a hurry!
DeleteWhat a daring escape! Great tension, I could really feel it.
ReplyDeleteThey were lucky to have a motorcar.
DeleteLovely. I especially like the 'suddenly precious things'. So evocative!
ReplyDeleteThanks Liz - I liked that phrse too as soon as it popped into my head.
DeleteDear Liz,
ReplyDeleteNow I'm trying to catch my breath. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
That little girl will never forget her adventure.
DeleteHi Liz.
ReplyDeleteI have no experience of war times, but I can actually imagine that happening. You wrote as if a sepia newsreel was screening before my eyes. Excellent. That is a real talent; as I repeatedly say: I can't even say 'hello' in 100 words!!
Thanks Paige - I didn't think I could either until I tried. The TB challenge of 200 words got me started.
DeleteLike Rochelle I too am trying to catch my breath! Nicely done
ReplyDeleteThanks Dahlia... and breathe!
DeleteGood job
ReplyDeleteCheers Jimmi x
DeleteGreat write.
ReplyDeleteThanks yarnspinner.
DeleteThat was the idea, Patsy!
ReplyDeleteLove this...
ReplyDelete“Ten minutes!” Grandfather roared, and like hens we scattered, gathering food, clothes, and suddenly precious things – mother’s mixing bowl, father’s books, my doll – and piled into the motorcars.
Shows us so much...
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for commenting, Maria, I'm glad you liked my story.
Deletei could hear my heart pounding as i read the story. glad it had a happy ending. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you plaridel - I hope you've calmed down now?
DeleteLovely action. Really pulled the reader through the scene.
ReplyDeleteThank you Alicia.
DeleteGreat build up of tension. So pleased the ending was happy!
DeleteI must have been in an upbeat mood!
DeleteThe bit a about cooling the hands really drove home the urgency. (No pun intended)
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting, Dawn.
Delete