VANS, VOLCANOES & VERY HOT CHILLIS

VERY HOT CHILLIS - my OH does like his chilli plants, and these pencil chillis have just ripened in the past few days. Fancy one?

VEHICLE – In May 1940 Albie and his depleted squad destroy a German tank, losing two more of their own men in the process. After a brief roadside burial they know they have to move fast – the explosion will have attracted attention – but they have no transport.

Thompson turned to Albie and asked, “What now, Corp?” thereby acknowledging that, with the Sergeant dead, they were under Albie’s orders; “Shall we catch up with the others?”

“They’re miles away by now,” Green commented sourly, “And we got no transport.”

“Would this do?” asked Darby, pushing open the shed door, and they crowded inside to stare at the strangest vehicle any of them had ever seen.

            If it had ever been a thing of beauty, the evidence now lay under layers of mud and chicken droppings. A topless, backless box of a cab perched behind the engine, there were no bumpers or headlights, and the open back had obviously been created by taking a saw to whatever bodywork had originally been there. When Paddy rubbed the paintwork of the door with his sleeve they read ‘Marc’s Glaces’ – their new vehicle had started life as an ice-cream VAN.

 We know they reach Dunkirk because Helter-Skelter opens with them on the beach (see my C blog for a snippet) but the full story of their perilous journey through the last stretch of France to get there is at the end of my novel. I think the idea of the ice-cream van lightens the story just a tad.

Imagine something like this but a lot less cared-for!

VILLAFLOR is the highest village in Tenerife, 1400 metres above sea level, but many a clapped-out old van still climbs the precipitous winding road that is its only access. Getting stuck behind one of those is only one of the hazards - in the winter Villaflor is sometimes cut off by snow.

Around 2000 people inhabit this peaceful 16^th century village, living mainly by agriculture and viticulture – the wine is lovely.

Its most famous son was Hermano Pedro, Tenerife’s only official saint, whose cave hermitage is at the other extreme - almost at sea level near El Medano, in a VERY noisy position right next to the airport. The airport authorities wanted this place of pilgrimage closed for security reasons, but everyone said NO! Quite right too – Pedro was there first - but sometimes the planes take off to the west and if you're standing outside the cave the noise is tremendous - I love it!

Living so near to a VOLCANO we claim to be blasé about volcanic activity, but when we see clouds that resemble smoke issuing from a chimney, we do wonder ………

VOLCANOES

VOLCANOES There are 411 volcanic mountains on Tenerife, all of which are inactive – for now. Some of them are so small you can climb them in an hour, others would take more than a day, and some you would be wise not to attempt at all. Some have been quarried for massive lumps of hard grey rock that is used for decorative finishes on walls, or the creamy white rock to make building blocks - all kinds of rock right down to the pebble-like white, brown or black picon that decorates gardens,

There are two mountains we see as we drive up through Guaza that have the profiles of a man and a woman, another has one almost VERTICAL face, but the mountain everyone associates with Tenerife is Mount Teide. We drive up there sometimes, to show VISITORS round, or for a barbecue picnic with friends, or just for a change of scenery.

We’re used to the road now, and in recent years they have put metal crash barriers along the steeper edges which give one a greater sense of security. Even so it’s a character-forming drive.

I love the way the cloud lies in the VALLEYS like a pile of candy floss, and you can see the top of it as if you were in an aeroplane – I don’t recall ever seeing the top of a cloud in England. There are strange cloud formations that loom overhead too, in smoothed-off shapes that could be flying saucers. Sometimes we are in the forest when cloud sweeps in, and tendrils of cloud stroke your face with damp fingers – that’s quite eerie, and the temperature drops 10 degrees in as many minutes.

There are designated picnic areas scattered all over the island, and the favourite ones are high up on the mountain. The terrain is a bit rough, but the Cabildos have built stone barbecues where you can light a fire safely, there are piles of logs left by the teams who manage the forest, and a few pine-cones make wonderful fire-lighters. The favoured spots go quickly at weekends, so if we’ve arranged for a large group barbecue, an advance party will drive up to occupy one of the picnic tables and get the fire started.

Canarian families bring saucepans of potatoes and VAST slabs of ribs, but a few chops and sausages are all we need to go with salad, bread and beer. None of us drink much – there’s the long drive down to be considered, and at a mile above sea level the air is thin. A gentle walk to a spot from which I once saw four other islands is the most exercise I want to take up there, and just watching kids kick a football about is exhausting, but I know of at least one couple who joined the “Mile High Club” without leaving the ground.

There’s a thought – the actual peak is over two miles high. Would an adventurous couple get double points?

Our nearest active volcano is on El Hierro, the smallest Canary Island and a mere 150 kilometres away. If you take the ferry past La Gomera you can be there in less than 3 hours.

Last October, after months of small earthquakes, a volcano began erupting under the sea off the south coast. The brown stain on the sea was VISIBLE from La Restinga, a small VILLAGE whose only industry is fishing and dive tourism. The eruption sent huge lumps of fiercely hot lava shooting skywards, all the fish died or fled, and the air was so full of sulphur that La Restinga’s inhabitants were evacuated.

The experts say the eruption has stopped now, and the cone is still fathoms deep. El Hierro is trying to return to normal, but there were two more earthquakes last week.

VENOMOUS creatures. There are no venomous snakes on Tenerife, and the only insects that bite are mosquitoes and small jumping spiders. The lizards won’t harm you and they eat the insects – I’m all in favour of that – and you get used to the sound of the cicadas after a while.

Venomous animals – now that’s a different matter. There are all kinds of predators about, especially in the sleazier tourist bars in the small hours.

And I discovered to my dismay recently that those beautiful strelitzia (Bird of Paradise plants) are poisonous. 

E FOR BRICK

As in A for ‘orses, B for mutton, C for yourself, Dee-fer- ential.

This is my attempt to apologise for yesterday’s Dismal blog. In my Defence I had spent an hour in the Dentist’s chair while he took a hammer and chisel to a temporary crown. He smiled and said “Demaciado bueno” (too good) – I presume he meant his glue!

Be that as it may, a light-hearted topic for E ELUDES me. E is the most used letter in the alphabet – EVEN my name, ELIZABETH, starts with an E - yet my mind is EMPTY of inspiration.

Today is the first of the EASTER holy days – Jueves Santo - no humour in that.

Then there’s EMBEZZLEMENT – a lot of that in local government here - EVEN less humorous.

Or ENERGY. I’m all in favour of the renewable kind, just lacking in any myself.

There’s been ENOUGH talk about the EURO without me adding my EIGHT-cents’ worth, and I’m sure you don’t want to hear about the time I got stuck in an ELEVATOR.

Ah – got it – ENTROPY. That wonderful musical duo Flanders and Swann (remember "Mud, mud, glorious mud"?) summed up the First Law of Thermodynamics in these words; “Heat don’t pass from a cooler to a hotter/ You can try it if you like but you’d far better notter.”

Definition No3 of Entropy in my Collins goes thus; “Lack of pattern or organization: disorder.” EXACTLY – my brain in a nutshell.

Meanwhile I’d better EXPLAIN my illuminated letter E. The island of EL HIERRO has quietened down after all the EXCITEMENT of the past few months. For those of you who are new to my blog, you might like to read my El Hierro page which I started last October, when the undersea volcano first made its presence felt.

I mention it again now because, although no longer front page news, the ECONOMY of the island is still reeling from the impact of the ERUPTION, and if you fancy an away-from-it-all holiday, you could do worse than ESCAPE to an island you can drive round in half a day.http://www.turismodecanarias.com/canary-islands-spain/tourism-office/el-hierro-island/

ESCAPING from the crowds to an isolated beach can be EXTRAORDINARILY difficult. These two ELDERLY EXPATS only found this little place last year, when our son and girlfriend came out determined to snorkel with turtles. A diver friend of ours said “Go to EL PUERTITO,” so we did.

EASY to find it is not and the road down the barranco twists like an EEL. There’s only one bar which charges EXTORTIONATE prices – ESPECIALLY if you’re obviously an EXTRANJERO – but the bay is EXQUISITE, there's a sandy beach, the houses pile on top of each other like a child’s toppled brick tower, and our young couple actually stroked a turtle. One word sums up their reaction – ECSTATIC!

A holiday with a hint of danger.

From the local paper this morning -
El Hierro, the smallest of the Canary Islands, has had its red flag replaced by a yellow one.
La Restinga, a tiny fishing village on the south coast, woke up in October to discover a stain on the sea and dead fish floating - a volcano was erupting under the sea only two kilometers beyond their small harbour. (See my earlier posts.)
Since then the inhabitants have been struggling to survive with two of their main sources of income banned - fishing and dive-schools - and the tourists stopped coming.
Last month the Crown Prince of Spain made a well-reported visit, so show solidarity with the beleaguered herrenos and to demonstrate the lack of danger. Ticket and accommodation prices were cut to encourage tourism, and now the local government is publicizing volcanic holidays.
The massive stain over the eruption is fading and the tremors are now too faint to feel. At least for now. The volcano is only sleeping, not dead. A yellow flag is not an "All clear". Fishing and diving are still banned, so you won't be able to eat local-caught fish, but goat stew is delicious, wine is cheap, and you might - just might - experience an earthquake.
But that's the attraction - an island holiday in the sun, with a hint of danger. Maybe I'll go and see for myself.

What kind of fool?

A recent conversation -
Me - "Have you seen the news coverage of Mount Etna? Those poor people!"
Him - "Don't feel too sorry for them - what kind of fool chooses to live that close to a volcano?"
Me - "Er - our kind. We're less than an hour's drive from a mile-high one."
Him - "Ah - well - now you mention it...."