19.5.21

STORM CLOUDS

 

STORM CLOUDS

“Let’s go for a walk,” he said, “Clear the air.”

I got my coat – I’d be safer with people around.

But the seafront was deserted, and I didn’t know which was worse – the black storm clouds threatening thunder, or his black mood with its undertone of violence.

He dragged me along and I stumbled, banging my knee on the railing. “Don’t be such a wimp,” he said, striding ahead, and I ducked into a shelter just as the storm hit.

The flash was so bright I didn’t see him fall.

I waited to be sure before I called the ambulance.

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A perfectly violent ending for a violent man - I must be feeling in a murderous mood today :)  Thanks to Na'ama Yehuda for the atmospheric photograph, and to Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers indefatigably for so many years.

We are all hoping for the recovery from ill health of Ted Strutz, one of our number who supplied last week's prompt. Get well soon, Ted. 

 


36 comments:

  1. hey sometimes a lady has to do what she has to do~

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  2. Divine retribution? Or a lucky accident?

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  3. She needed a little light in her life. It couldn't have come in a better way.

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  4. Dear Liz,

    Karma came just in time.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. I won't she'd many years for him, that's for sure!

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  5. He is blessed he died quick, as he deserved worse. But don't we all... Good story and I like how you used the storm to parallel his violence.

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  6. The sun always comes out after a storm!

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    1. As proved by the weather here today, a mix of sun and rain!

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  7. Rotten bully! Glad he shocked! Good story.

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  8. Yay, I was hoping he'd get washed into the sea but a lightning strike is even better :-)

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  9. Wow, what a great ending. Karma is a bitch. :)

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  10. Struck it lucky it seems! Nice one Liz.

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    1. Thanks Keith, I like what you did there.

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  11. Oooh! I like this a lot. I love it when voilent jerks get what they deserve. Brava!

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    1. Thank you, Susan, I like a swift retribution too.

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  12. it was like saying he inherited the wind... er, the lightning. :)

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  13. Her life certainly lit up after that, I'd be thinking. Excellent use of atmosphere for this.

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  14. I wonder how long it took her to realise that she was permanently free of him, and whether she grieved.


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    1. She may have grieved - grief often takes us by surprise.

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  15. Thanks for welcoming a bit of wrath into the scene before any other peril entered. May it truly "clear the air" of such contemptible behavior.

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  16. Good story Liz. Like the comparison of the black storm and his black mood.

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    1. Thanks, Wilts, glad you worked your way through the barriers to comment!

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  17. I liked the businesslike last line after the fiery buildup. Nicely done.

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  18. I must say, he did have it coming. Have a great day!

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