ROAST POTATOES
It wasn’t even a proper fight – he
said his mother’s roast potatoes were crisper than mine, I said he could go
home to his mother any time he liked, he slammed out of the house, I tried to
stop him, and my hand went through the glass door.
Blood spurted everywhere, and before
the ambulance got here I’d bled half to death.
Then the police got involved, accusing
him of attempted murder, and when I said I’d done it myself they assumed I’d
tried to commit suicide.
How can I tell a shrink it was caused
by roast potatoes?
..........................................................................
This week's Friday Fictioneers' prompt photo was taken by Dale Rogerson, and I hope the reason for her broken door wasn't as dramatic as mine. I wrote this story, tweaked it down to 100 words and posted it, in ten minutes flat, so I hope you like it.
Thanks as ever to Rochelle for hosting our goup of flash fiction enthusiasts on her blog https://rochellewisoff.com .
I have been busy this week promoting my latest book, Wolf Pack , which you can buy by clicking on the cover image at the top of this page. If everyone who reads my flash fiction buys a copy of my book - and leaves a review - I shall be a happy writer.
Those who have read it say it's my best so far - why not try it for yourself and see if you agree? Please?
Those who have read it say it's my best so far - why not try it for yourself and see if you agree? Please?
Could say it was caused by his obsession with his mother – don't shrinks like that kind of thing?
ReplyDeleteThey love anything to do with mothers.
DeleteBrilliant, Liz!
ReplyDeleteHow things get blow out of proportion...
Don't they just! And have you mended that door yet?
DeleteNope. Will cost too much. So I removed it from its hinges and am shopping for a new one... sigh...
DeleteHa ha - well talk about things escalating out of proportion! I'd love to read the sequel. :)
ReplyDeleteSusan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
You think there should be a sequel? Or are you referring to my books?
DeleteFunny and sad at the same time - nice take on the photo!
ReplyDeleteThanks jennifer, for getting it from both angles.
DeleteRoast Potatoes... will the jury believe that as an alibi?! :-)
ReplyDeleteBut it's true, Your Honour!
DeleteNope. Nobody's going to believe roast potatoes. There are just some things that happen that are so improbable they defy plausible transmission
ReplyDeleteThat's the way it happened.
DeleteHa! A delightful take on the prompt. And the explanation is so truly bizarre, they'll all get a pass.
ReplyDeleteI think they should too.
DeleteMum's roast potatoes did all that?! and the policemen making up their own story! Crazy story; I love it :-)
ReplyDeleteComparing her cooking with his mum's was never going to end well.
DeleteFreak accidents happen, but who would believe them. Fun read, Liz.
ReplyDeleteThanks GaH.
DeleteHah! That's the way it goes though. Nice one.
ReplyDeleteSilly little fights can end in disaster.
DeleteIt's all tumbling out of control! Nice one :-)
ReplyDeleteIt is rather, isn't it? Thanks Alastair.
DeleteI love the last line. It all started with roast potatoes. I'm sure the authorities have heard it all and more. Great storytelling!
ReplyDeleteThanks Brenda.
Deletehe could be an italian. somebody told me that the best flattery an italian husband could give to his wife is to tell her she cooks as well as his mother. :)
ReplyDeleteItalian mothers have a lot to answer for!
DeleteDear Liz,
ReplyDeleteThat is overreaction with a capital O. Well done. Mine was a ten minute write as well. ;)
Shalom,
Rochelle
Dear Rochelle, sometimes the words just come. Pity that doesn't happen with an entire novel!
DeleteWell, in truth ... it was not ... but perhaps by all that the roasted potatoes (crisp or not) brought up ... Perhaps a shrink is overdue? ;)
ReplyDeleteWell done!
A marriage counsellor would be more appropriate.
DeleteDon't goodness sake don't mention Mother's gravy!
ReplyDeleteClick to read my FriFic tale!
Unfortunately my OH actually prefers Bisto - clearly he led a deprived childhood!
DeleteMy kids managed to smash a door between them when they were young and came up with a story which I didn't believe but chose to let them get away with. I've learnt the truth since.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you have to admire their ingenuity .
DeleteNever fear, they've heard everything.. Very clever tale!!
ReplyDeletethanks Violet
DeleteI think it's better to tell them just like it was...
ReplyDeleteAnd hope they let them off when they've finished laughing.
DeleteGood one! I've heard sillier arguments in my counseling office, believe me :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I believe you, Linda - I've had sillier ones myself!
DeleteWow...what a snowball effect!
ReplyDeleteI like your analogy, Dawn!
Delete