HAMELIN
Clowns outside the school attracted
every child to their offer of free rides at the fairground. In the scramble,
only the fittest won a ticket, and Belinda had to stand and watch as her
luckier classmates climbed aboard, the music blared and the ride started.
But something wasn’t right. The speed
increased rapidly until the children’s faces blurred, the music became deafening,
and when a flying shoe struck Belinda she backed away.
Then the noise reached a crescendo and
the ride stopped abruptly – empty. Belinda, sobbing with fright, turned and
fled as fast as her crutches could carry her.
......................................................................................................
There is something about the frenetic noise of a fairground that could so easily escalate into nightmare, and this story is what J Hardy Carroll's photo brought to my mind. To read what it inspired other writers to write, go to https://rochellewisoff.com/ and follow the Blue Frog links.
For those who don't know the story of The Pied Pper of Hamelin, there are accounts of the (allegedly) true story on Google.
ps. If you haven't read my book A Volcanic Race yet, the link to Amazon is at the top of this page.
Wow! I wasn't expecting that. So chilling - and how lucky for Belinda!
ReplyDeleteSusan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Remember the little crippled boy in the original story?
DeleteCreepy, Lizy.
ReplyDeleteGlad it worked - thanks, Helen.
DeleteYou're so right about the nightmarish quality of the sound at a fairground. Loved this!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sandra.
DeleteA lovely little chiller
ReplyDeleteThanks Neil
DeleteThe Pied Piper will be luring kids on Facebook next! A brilliant if spooky take Liz. BTW, I answered your question re Wordpress at length in my reply to your comment.
ReplyDeleteClick to read my FriFic!
Glad you liked it, Keith. I shall revisit your blog to find the answer!
DeleteThe piper has been working on some more modern techniques. Scary stuff!
ReplyDeleteThere are a few scary stories this week. Must be the fairground influence.
DeleteDear Liz,
ReplyDeleteI'll bet Belinda is thanking her lucky crutches she didn't make it on the ride. Chilling and clever.
Shalom,
Rochelle
She'll be missing her classmates, though!
DeleteInteresting twist! I wonder where the children disappeared to. Probably not somewhere Belinda wishes she was. Sometimes not winning the "prize" is a godsend.
ReplyDeleteBeing the one left behind can't be fun either.
DeleteTalk about being blessed about being a cripple!
ReplyDeleteThis was spooky good stuff!
Ride stopped empty, nice.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ted
DeleteSad tale --- glad Belinda was spared that awful end.
ReplyDeleteI bet her parents are grateful too.
DeleteOh, Liz, that was creepy! Brilliantly written.
ReplyDeleteThanks Helen - mwah-ha-ha!
DeleteClowns giving away tickets? That's suspicious in itself! You ramped up the tension nicely.
ReplyDeleteIf I may nitpick (and it really is a nitpick) a crescendo is music becoming gradually louder, not music at its loudest. Going from soft to moderately soft is a crescendo, for example, as is going from moderately soft to moderately loud. The musical term for very loud is 'fortissimo'.
The clowns would have put me off.
DeleteThanks for the nitpick - I do know the difference in musical terminology, and should have used the correct one - sorry!
I assume the riders vanished into another dimension. A Twilight Zone tale. Well done, Liz. - Russell
ReplyDeleteTwilight zone - beamed up by aliens - write your own explanation!
DeleteThis makes me think of the fairground in Pinocchio... seems like the luckiest are those with less fortune...
ReplyDeletePinnochio is one of the films I seem to have missed!
DeleteAn apt take on this prompt.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading.
ReplyDeletei'm sure glad she wasn't taken for a ride.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Thanks for visiting.
DeleteThe title did suggest a nod to the Pied Piper, so it was indeed. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteSometimes when you find it difficult to see the positives in your lot something will come along to remind you. Belinda had a lucky escape.
ReplyDeleteThe link does not appear to be active to get to your book Liz.
I hope the bereaved parents don't give hers a hard time. Thanks for pointing out the ineffective link - I have corrected it, so you can buy a copy now!
DeleteNice read
ReplyDeleteClick Here to see what Mrs. Dash Says
Thanks DeeDee
ReplyDeleteThat's really creepy, Liz. It's like an episode of The Twilight Zone. Good writing. ---- Suzanne
ReplyDeleteThanks Suzanne
DeleteWinning isn't everything!
ReplyDeleteBe careful what you wish for!
DeleteOoooo...like right out of the Twilight Zone!
ReplyDeleteI got chills!
It's the weather, Dawn!
DeleteWell, that's clever! The Piper returned and using modern technology to capture dozens of children at once. Well told and very suspenseful too. Love that last line about your child being on crutches - a touchstone with the original tale of course. Clever
ReplyDeleteBrilliant, Liz.
ReplyDelete(and you've reminded me to look up an old tale I wrote about a fairground mirror, so thanks! :) )
marion