TROOP SHIP 1939
“It’s
no worse than when we went fishing that time,” Albie said, holding Bert’s belt
as the troopship lurched into another trough.
“I were sick then too, remember?” Bert said, heaving up more
of his breakfast.
Albie parked his whey-faced friend under a companionway and
left him there while he walked the deck. The dark grey waves lifted and fell
all the way to a horizon almost as grey, needles of spray lacerated his cheeks,
and the deck was slimy with spume and vomit, but Albie pulled in deep lungfuls
of the salty wind and laughed with sheer exhilaration.
.................................................................................
I believe this is the first time I've posted an extract from a book, but the mind of a writer is a strange land, and Ted Strutz's photo of a modern ferry took me to a scene from Helter-Skelter - a novel I am hoping to get published. I had to cut the little scene severely to fit, but I hope it shows how much Albie loves the wild tooth and claw of Nature.
Nice excerpt. Off to war, and I wonder if Albie and Bert survive?
ReplyDeleteWhen I get the book published ...
DeleteThat sheer exhilaration might disappear once they arrive at their destination...
ReplyDeleteGreat dialogue and story
It might.
DeleteI can see this happening, and I can see this scene playing out more times with reversed setting... love it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bjorn.
DeleteDear Liz,
ReplyDeleteI know how it is to cut an excerpt to fit and still make sense. Sometimes it's more work than writing a whole new story.
Intriguing and visual piece.
Shalom,
Rochelle
It isn't easy to cut it down - I started with a 270 word extract!
DeleteThis is really good. I especially like this:
ReplyDelete"The dark grey waves lifted and fell all the way to a horizon almost as grey, needles of spray lacerated his cheeks"
Gosh, thanks, Marley!
DeleteSuch a graphic piece. It's certainly not a trip I would wish to take.
ReplyDeleteClick to read my FriFic!
Many years ago I escorted a youth club group to France. There was a Force 8 gale on our way back, and I think I was the only person on the ferry who wasn't throwing up.
DeleteRough seas can be very exhilerating – as long as you don't get queasy.
ReplyDeleteI love the drama of them!
DeletePoor Bert. I'd probably be right there beside him with someone holding on to my belt. Made me a little seasick just to read it--which means you wrote it extremely well :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Linda.
Deletegood for him. enjoy the moment while he can. :)
ReplyDeleteHe faced an uncertain future.
DeleteI'm an "exhilaration" kind of person at sea :-) They'll both be feeling the same fear when they arrive, though.
ReplyDeleteYou're probably right, Alistair
DeleteGood luck with your book. It sounds interesting.
ReplyDeleteThanks Dawn - I'm hoping an agent will think so too!
DeleteFantastic writing. Good luck with your book. Cheers, Varad
ReplyDeleteThanks Varad
DeleteWow.Awesome read
ReplyDeleteClick Here to see what Mrs. Dash Says
Thanks DeeDee x
Delete