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23.12.16

CHRISTMAS EVE AT THE DINER

SAME PICTURE, DIFFERENT STORY!
I wasn't totally satisfied with my first response to this week's Friday Fictioneers' photo prompt, so here's another story. Do feel free to scroll down and read the other two stories I've posted this week.


 CHRISTMAS EVE AT THE DINER

Sally’s feet ached. Christmas Eve had been a long, hard slog.
Lorry drivers had merely grabbed a burger without leaving a tip, every family had brought over-excited, noisy children, and someone had thrown up in the toilets.
The moment the last customer left, Sally grabbed the keys to lock up – with luck she’d be home before midnight – but just then a couple stumbled out of the darkness.
“Don’t lock us out,” the man pleaded, “My wife’s in labour,” and as Sally held the door open for them, one brilliant star came to rest in the night sky over the diner.
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28 comments:

  1. Helen Baggott 23/12/2016, 17:02

    Beautiful story.

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    Replies
    1. liz young24/12/2016, 10:27

      Certainly less dark than my first effort!

      Delete
  2. Linda23/12/2016, 17:12

    Nice. Seasonal. Good job :)

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  3. Russell23/12/2016, 17:29

    I saw that one coming. At least a diner was much better than the caves they used for barns in Jesus' day.

    I loved the sentiment here, and could visualize her expression changing from sadness to wonder.

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    Replies
    1. liz young24/12/2016, 10:28

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. liz young24/12/2016, 10:31

      Thanks Russell - It was easy to guess where it was going!

      Delete
  4. Susan A Eames23/12/2016, 18:15

    Lovely modern take on the traditional story. Well done (again) Liz.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

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    Replies
    1. liz young24/12/2016, 10:29

      Thanks for returning and commenting again, Susan.

      Delete
  5. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields24/12/2016, 00:16

    Dear Lizzy

    I enjoyed this one very much.

    Holiday Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  6. Alicia24/12/2016, 04:45

    Ahhh, a sweet tale indeed.

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  7. Dale24/12/2016, 05:00

    A most lovely one indeed.

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  8. RobCrompton24/12/2016, 10:27

    Good one, Liz

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  9. Anonymous24/12/2016, 11:13

    this was super sweet - all in 100 words too - and the interplay with a holiday baby and the nativity...
    really enjoyed this...
    :)
    ~priorhouse

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  10. Subroto26/12/2016, 00:50

    Babies find a way to arrive at unexpected times. Nice one.

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  11. Anne Higa27/12/2016, 16:11

    Adorable! I totally didn't see that one coming. You never know who may come to your door. Loved this one. :)

    Anne from annehiga.com

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  12. lizy27/12/2016, 17:14

    Thank you Anne, and happy christmas!

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  13. brudberg27/12/2016, 20:38

    I think Christmas tale would play out exactly like that.

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  14. liz young28/12/2016, 16:46

    It could if it happened today.

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  15. Patsy29/12/2016, 10:45

    Aaah, nicely festive story.

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  16. tedstrutz29/12/2016, 16:40

    Wow... just plain 'wow'.

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  17. P.S. Joshi30/12/2016, 14:55

    Lovely, different version of the Christmas story, Liz. Good writing. Happy Holidays and a great New Year 2017. :) --- Suzanne

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    Replies
    1. liz young26/12/2017, 10:43

      I'm a year late in answering your comment, Suzanne, but thanks anyway!

      Delete

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