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26.10.16

WHO DARES? a 100 word story for Friday Fictioneers


WHO DARES?

Twice daily the guard from this end marches across for a shared smoke, the boom of his boots reminding us how deep the ravine is. Sometimes, while his back is turned, daring lads run on tiptoe to spray graffiti, their parents unwilling to forbid these small tastes of freedom.

But this morning the unthinkable happened – both guards disappeared. After an hour, two lads ventured across, and vanished without a sound. No yells, no shots, just a deathly silence. Eventually their fathers went looking, and they haven’t returned either.

We’ve been waiting all day. We don’t know what to do.
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After several attempts to copy the photo prompt, I believe I've managed it. I hope you can see the picture of an enclosed wooden bridge, otherwise my story won't make much sense! Thanks to https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/ for hosting Friday Fictioneers - follow the link from her blog to read other 100 word stories.
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22 comments:

  1. Sandra Conner26/10/2016, 17:23

    Most intriguing. I think you definitely should do a follow up post that allows you more than 100 words and tell us, tell us, tell us ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. liz young26/10/2016, 17:34

      So you haven't made up your own ending, Sandra?

      Delete
  2. Helen Baggott 26/10/2016, 17:30

    Another thought-provoking piece.

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    Replies
    1. liz young26/10/2016, 17:35

      Have I left you wondering what happened? Good!

      Delete
  3. Claire Fuller26/10/2016, 17:44

    Ooh, I really like this. Very cryptic.

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  4. Yolanda Renée26/10/2016, 19:27

    The unknown, so scary! Well done!

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  5. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields27/10/2016, 12:29

    Dear Liz,

    It's my hope that they escaped to freedom. Bleak and oppressive atmosphere. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    Replies
    1. liz young27/10/2016, 14:38

      Thanks Rochelle. I felt bleak after I'd written it.

      Delete
  6. Gah Learner27/10/2016, 14:57

    This is great. Freedom can be scary when you've been imprisoned for too long.

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    Replies
    1. liz young27/10/2016, 15:30

      I'm sure there's a name for this syndrome but I can't think what it is.

      Delete
  7. Dale28/10/2016, 05:16

    Something nefarious is going on....

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    Replies
    1. liz young28/10/2016, 10:29

      I agree, Dale - they're right to be wary.

      Delete
  8. Sandra Crook28/10/2016, 13:05

    I hope it was freedom, but somehow I'm suspecting that it was something nowhere near so welcome. Nicely done.

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    Replies
    1. liz young28/10/2016, 15:41

      Judging by the feeling I was left with after writing it, I suspect the same.

      Delete
  9. Russell28/10/2016, 22:44

    I'm not sure I'd go looking for them just yet. A nice open ending.

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  10. Alicia29/10/2016, 19:50

    Oh! Delightfully open ended! Thanks for leaving us wondering. I was almost glad the guards were gone, then everyone else began to disappear.

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    Replies
    1. liz young30/10/2016, 17:48

      Sinister or spooky? It's up to you to decide!

      Delete
  11. Dawn31/10/2016, 05:24

    Gee..I want to go see what happened to them...but do I dare...?
    Enjoyable read!

    ReplyDelete

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