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6.4.16

NO SMOKING - a 100 word story

NO SMOKING

Alison was a retired teacher, and her door and biscuit tin were always open for the neighbourhood youngsters, who would drop in to seek her help with their homework, watch her television, and stroke her cats.
Alison loved them all but didn’t stand for any nonsense, and when two teenage girls lit up in her kitchen she removed their cigarettes and ran them under the tap.

An icy chill turned her round just as young hands closed on her throat, and she looked into eyes like empty windows onto a black soul while a knife slid between her ribs.
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25 comments:

  1. Susan A Eames06/04/2016, 19:23

    Oof! Didn't see that coming. Back on form, Lizy?

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  2. Helen Baggott 06/04/2016, 23:01

    Blimey, Lizy. Where did that come from?

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  3. Sandra Crook07/04/2016, 07:47

    OMG! That turned quickly. Pity she didn't. Great twist.

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    Replies
    1. liz young07/04/2016, 16:35

      i fear she was doomed the moment she let them into her house - like that woman in the news this week murdered by two girls 'for fun'.

      Delete
  4. margirene07/04/2016, 10:06

    Thankless girls! They really didn't want to be told what to do, did they? That was an unexpected twist and it worked well.

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    Replies
    1. liz young07/04/2016, 16:37

      Thanks margirene - it was awful how her trust was betrayed.

      Delete
  5. Anonymous07/04/2016, 11:00

    Teenagers! Had she confiscated their smart phones too?

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    Replies
    1. liz young07/04/2016, 16:37

      That would probably have earned her a slower and more painful death.

      Delete
  6. brudberg08/04/2016, 13:15

    Sad sad sad... what happens in minds like that... good things that most kids are good and most grown-ups are not pedophiles..

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    Replies
    1. liz young09/04/2016, 17:37

      Yes, the bigger picture is comforting, despite the two young girls jailed htis week in UK for a murder.

      Delete
  7. Gah Learner08/04/2016, 21:10

    Ay, this was unsettling. In a good way. Poor Alison.

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    Replies
    1. liz young09/04/2016, 17:38

      When I was in my teens we used to spend Sunday afternoons in the house of a lonely woman, playing records and drinking tea.

      Delete
  8. plaridel09/04/2016, 21:53

    as they say, you can't win them all with kindness. sad story.

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  9. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields10/04/2016, 13:29

    Dear Liz,

    Disturbing piece in light of some of the comments above. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    Replies
    1. liz young10/04/2016, 14:52

      Thanks Rochelle - it's frightening how many disturbed children there are.

      Delete
  10. Subroto10/04/2016, 13:54

    Dark and scary because incidents like these are not just fictional anymore.

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    Replies
    1. liz young10/04/2016, 14:52

      This kind of terror rocks one's sense of balance.

      Delete
    2. liz young10/04/2016, 14:53

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  11. Patsy11/04/2016, 18:08

    Crikey! What were they smoking???

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  12. P.S. Joshi12/04/2016, 13:53

    Great tragic twist at the end, Liz. You have to watch who you let into your house these days. Maybe that's where the fictional rule about vampires came from. Those "black" eyes get to me too. Well done. ---- Suzanne

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