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9.4.15

HOME & HERMITAGE - A-Z Challenge

H is today's letter in the A-Z blog, and I'm starting off with a 100-word story prompted by this photograph.

HOME
“You’re having another baby?” Henry pushed his plate away and stormed out of the house. The train whistle echoed mournfully across the fields as he darted over the tracks and slumped against a tree. A baby! he raged – his life was ruined.

Watching his home being erased frame by frame as the freight cars passed, he was suddenly afraid it might disappear entirely, and the moment the train had gone he raced back home, straight into her arms.

 “I love you, Henry,” she said, kissing his tear-stained face, “And the baby is going to love her big brother.”
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Thanks to Rochelle for the photograph and for hosting Friday Fictioneers. You can read other stories by following the link on her blog  https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/
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HARKING BACK TO MY A-Z THEME, did you know that Tenerife has its very own saint?


HERMANO PEDRO was born in the mountains of Tenerife, and spent his early years as a goat-herd before he felt called to preach by example by helping the sick in Guatamala.
 There is a HOSPITAL there dedicated to him, but his original cave home - now THE HERMITAGE OF SAN PEDRO - lies directly beneath the western end of the runway of Reina Sofia Airport, Tenerife.


 The airport authorities actually wanted to move it but there was an uproar. The Hermitage is a place of pilgrimage and besides, how can you move a ravine and its caves? 


So Hermano Pedro stayed. A priest says Mass there regularly, and the walls of the cave are festooned with holy pictures and slips of paper containing prayers. One of those prayers is mine. It was answered.
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30 comments:

  1. Liz Brownlee09/04/2015, 10:36

    Oh, I'm so glad it was answered! LOVE the 100 worder, as usual. You should really make a book of these. Liz http://www.lizbrownleepoet (this is my blog, don't click on my name, whig is a defunct blog address!)

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    1. liz young09/04/2015, 13:12

      Thanks Liz - when I get back to England, making a book of my flash fiction is one of my plans.

      Delete
  2. Annalisa Crawford09/04/2015, 10:53

    Great story - cute twist :-)

    Lol, moving caves! Gotta love people in authority. Glad your prayer was answered.

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    1. liz young09/04/2015, 13:13

      Far too often the people in authority have had a brain-ectomy!

      Delete
  3. Sandra Crook09/04/2015, 11:03

    I liked the phrase about the house being erased frame by frame. Very graphic in the context of the moving train. Nicely done.

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    1. liz young09/04/2015, 13:15

      Thanks Sandra. The photo reminded me of my visit to Canada, when I walked a longish way from my son's house and experienced that same sense of distance.

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  4. Dawn09/04/2015, 16:36

    Bravo getting your FF into your A-Z...wonderful multi task!

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    1. liz young09/04/2015, 17:02

      Thanks Dawn - it was that or do two blogs which would divide my already scant helping of comments even further!

      Delete
  5. Bob Sanchez09/04/2015, 17:43

    Hi from a fellow A to Z-er! Of course, Heart goes quite well with Home, doesn't it?

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    1. liz young09/04/2015, 18:35

      Heart? Was that your H word? Thanks for dropping in, Bob.

      Delete
  6. Helen Baggott 09/04/2015, 18:44

    Goodness, I was so absorbed in the facts that your final comment took my breath away.

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    1. liz young09/04/2015, 22:10

      I tell it how it appears to me. Beliefs are personal choices.

      Delete
  7. Russell09/04/2015, 22:30

    Well done. I didn't expect Henry was an older sibling until the end. The new baby has been tough on my grandchildren, especially Erika who was THE baby until Lily came along. You captured those feeling well.

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    1. liz young10/04/2015, 10:17

      Thank you Russell - I hoped I'd managed a surprise ending. My son's elder boy was knowcked off his perch by a younger baby, and even though he loves him it wasn't easy. The little cousin who arrived in January is another matter entirely - they both simply adore her!

      Delete
  8. Gah Learner10/04/2015, 01:25

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. Unknown10/04/2015, 14:26

    That caught me by surprise. Well done. And the disappearing frame is rather clever.

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    1. liz young11/04/2015, 18:24

      Thanks Patrick - watching a similar scene once made me think of a jerky old film, hance the phrase. They say no experience is ever lost to a writer.

      Delete
  10. margirene11/04/2015, 12:46

    Most enjoyable. I love how Henry has a change of heart by the end, and the surprise revelation about who he is is delightful. Really effective description of the house disappearing behind the moving train carriages.

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    1. liz young11/04/2015, 18:25

      Thanks Margirene. Poor Henry was taken by surprise but i bet he'll be an adoring elder brother.

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  11. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields12/04/2015, 09:57

    Dear LIz,

    I thought Henry was a real jerk until I realized he was a little boy afraid of being replaced. Lovely story.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. liz young13/04/2015, 10:28

      Thanks Rochelle - I'm glad my subterfuge worked!

      Delete
  12. aw12/04/2015, 14:14

    Another great story, Lizy. Pleased you are considering a collection of them. Some fascinating things I am learning about Tenerife, too. Did you ever consider being a tour guide for the "off the beaten track" lovers?
    Ann

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    1. liz young13/04/2015, 10:29

      I'm too busy writing to be a tour guide!

      Delete
  13. Anonymous12/04/2015, 14:53

    Lovely story, and some wonderful lines - I love the description of the house being erased by the freight train, and the relief of him being back in Mum's arms. Very moving, especially when son #2 is coming here in a month or so.

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    1. liz young13/04/2015, 10:30

      Henry will probably be an adoring big brother. Thanks for commenting.

      Delete
  14. Alicia12/04/2015, 19:51

    Lovely little twist at the end. I wasn't expecting that. Well done.

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  15. Dale12/04/2015, 21:18

    Oooohhh! That was my reaction! So remember my older son's reaction to the fact the baby wasn't leaving...

    Lovely, lovely story!

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    1. liz young13/04/2015, 10:33

      Thanks Dale - I had four children and I remember sibling jealousy vividly!

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  16. brudberg13/04/2015, 12:45

    Love that response... I guess that Henry will be a great big brother.

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