Friday Fictioneers is a group of writers who write 100-word
stories prompted by a photograph posted each week on Rochelle’s site
You can read all the other stories – free! – by following
the link.
Here is my story -
JUST THE ONE
It wasn’t Kevin’s day to have Janie, but when he begged to be
allowed to take her to the fair, Sue agreed.
After two hours of rides, Janie wanted to go home, but Kevin
had heard the music from a bar.
He gave his little girl a fiver. “Get yourself a burger – I
won’t be long.”
She looked at him with too-wise eyes. “You promised you
wouldn’t.”
“You sound just like your bloody mother – I’m only having one.”
When darkness fell, Kevin remembered Janie, but he wasn’t
the only man hiding a shameful secret - the night had swallowed her.
..............................
Thank you for reading - please leave a comment - and feel free to browse the rest of my blog.
Poor Janie! Well done!
ReplyDeletePoor Janie indeed. Thanks for visiting.
DeleteOuch! This one hurts in many ways. WELL DONE! (since I can't figure out how to get my profile in the box I will leave this as anonymous - Alicia Jamtaas)
ReplyDeleteThanks Alicia - I'm not enough of an expert to help out, I'm afraid - ask on a writers' forum - they're usually a helpful bunch.
DeletePowerful - and a tad creepy.
ReplyDeleteIt is a bit creepy, isn't it. Last week's funny was a rare departure from my norm!
DeleteIt's very frightening because this is real-life scary and not imaginary-creatures scary.
ReplyDeleteReal life IS much worse, unfortunately.
DeleteSadly, too true for some people, so this little story is fairly blaring with authenticity! What's just as bad as her vanishing is the awareness she had, at a young age, of her father's weakness. Well done :) (I never know if that sounds condescending ... it isn't meant to be!)
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong with a "Well done" - in fact it's welcome!
DeleteHow vicious! What makes it so frightening is that all too often this happens. Having grown up in a home with an addicted parent, I can't count the number of times that I was left to fend for myself. Praise God above that I was never abducted or injured, but the possibility is still just as frightening.
ReplyDeletePoor you - I hope you survived unscathed.
DeleteLizy, this is a disturbing story in so many ways. I agree with Joanna that it's terrible that the daughter already understood (although I'm sure Mom had talked about it) and that he couldn't even control himself for the amount of time he was with her. Lots of help needed here, but well-written story.
ReplyDeletejanet
The children of unfit parents have to grow up too quickly. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteReally good story. This was realistic and it's every parent's nightmare. How terrible some children have to grow up that way. : ( Well written. : )
ReplyDeleteThanks Joshi - a nightmare for any responsible parent., which Kevin wasn't.
DeleteDear Liz,
ReplyDeletePerhaps this will shake him into sobriety. More than likely it will drive him further into the disease. Sad, disturbing and infuriating. In other words, well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
I think your second thought is the correct one, unfortunately. And thanks Rochelle.
DeleteThat is so real it scares me. It would be any parent's nightmare. It's also unfortunate that children have to live with a parent or parents with an addiction. : ( Well written. : )
ReplyDeletePoor Jannie! It doesn't matter how wise you are when you are pint-sized.
ReplyDelete- Alice
You're right, Alice - and when you have to do what Dad tells you even if you know it's wrong.
DeleteAH.. such fathers... the lull of beer and music ... I so hope that they get Janine back..
ReplyDeleteI hope so too, but . . .
Deleteoh this is so creepy! very disturbing. horrifying. poor kid.
ReplyDeleteand well done.
Poor kid indeed. Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteDear Lizy, I'll get the rope, and you find the tree after we find the child. Well written! Nan :)
ReplyDeleteRight behind you on that one, Nan.
DeleteOh no, I thought that was where you were going, but hoped I was wrong.
ReplyDeleteThe nightmare of every parent and grandparent.
I'm with both you and Nan of this.
Well done
Dee
Thanks Dee.
DeleteThe poor girl. Such a scary situation. But, another well written story. You need to start sharing something a bit longer too!
ReplyDeleteThanks Annalisa - but I can't share my novel till it's finished!
Delete(Sharp intake of breath) I didn't see that ending coming.
ReplyDeleteA real horror story, but very well written.
Thanks Linda - it was the fairy lights that made me think of fairgrounds.
Delete