TABLE SALE
You wanna buy a lamp?
Hang on – I know you! You got the makings of a spliff on
you?
Paul? No – he’s gone. He was a weird one - everything had
its own special place and you’d better not move it. He was a pain to live with, but
I put up with it until the business of the lamps. He found fault with each one
I got, so I cracked him over the head with the last one.
No, I can’t remember which one – does it matter?
Each one’s a quid whether it’s a murder weapon or not.
Friday Fictioneers is contributed to by writers from all
round the world. We write 100-word stories prompted by a photograph posted on
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Dear Liz,
ReplyDeleteI'm backing away from the table now. Love the dialogue. And I learned a new word, "spliff." Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Sorry - did I scare you? 'Spliff' is the word they use round here - I'm sure there are hundreds of others!
DeleteEBay's probably the place to sell something like this!!
ReplyDeletejanet
'Lamp for sale - slightly stained'?
DeleteHe found a terrifying use for those lamps. Good story.
ReplyDeleteI'm still not sure which one she used!
DeleteThis was very funny! What a sale!
ReplyDeleteThanks Glynis - do you think she actually sold it?
DeleteWhat could be better than a murder weapon to light your beside reading... Nice one.
ReplyDeleteIf those are the kind of stories you read last thing at night!
DeleteSpliff? Is that a dolt? or a pothead? I've lived with an obsessive compulsive everything in its place. I can imagine the satisfaction of cracking one over the skull. I think it best he get rid of the murder weapon ASAP. Very clever.
ReplyDeleteIt's a roll-up with an added ingredient. OCD is of course something we should sympathise with, but living with it is a pain in the ....
DeleteIt's best to use one without a shade, because of the blood splatter. Er, I mean I expect it would be ...
ReplyDeleteA word from the wise, Patsy?
DeleteI enjoyed this story with its good dialogue. I live abroad also, but in India, and I haven't heard the word "spliff" here so I had to look it up. I think I'll just buy new lamps from now on.
DeleteThat's why I get my lamps from John Lewis...
ReplyDeleteLots packed in there, Liz - a great little tale!
I can't remember the last time I bought a lamp! John Lewis? Oh if only I still lived in UK?
DeleteOh dear, I'll never buy used lamps again.
ReplyDeleteYou'll be okay as long as you check them for blood!
DeleteGreat story - I have bought lamps at garage sales before but I never did a CSI test on them for blood - I guess I will next time. ha ha Good job! Nan
ReplyDeleteGreat story - checking for blood from now on at garage sales!
ReplyDeleteWell, I keep writing a comment and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. If it doesn't work this time - I give up - BUT, I like your story. I am going to check for blood from now on. Thanks! Nan
ReplyDeleteNANCLAIRE you managed three comments so you are obviously pressin all the right buttones, Perhpas i should go back and chanch shose where ?i think I've left two>
ReplyDeleteWell done, Liz. A chilling conclusion! At yard sales, I often find myself wondering about the history of the items for sale...
ReplyDeleteMy response just disappeared too... I'm going to guess that it's off to some back room to be ok'ed by Liz. Let's hope. But confusing... to see your comment disappear! :-p
ReplyDeleteDear tales-etc, thanks for both your comments! I enabled 'comment moderation' last year after my blog was invaded by spammers. I try to check regularly so that genuine comments appear quickly.
DeleteAnd no extra charge for incriminating finger prints? Such a deal! Delightful story!
ReplyDeleteNo - it all goes in the same price.
DeleteLoved the dialogue all the way :)
ReplyDeleteThank you camgal - these 100 worders seem to work well with dialogue, don't they?
DeleteOops. Paul really shouldn't have opened his mouth, since it got him silenced forever.Well atleast I won't be making the same mistake... :D
ReplyDeleteIt's always wise to agree with your wife's choice of household goods!
DeleteYup, I learned a new word too!
ReplyDeleteI have interesting friends - can you tell? :)
ReplyDeleteGreat short! Now I have to go look up "spliff."
ReplyDeleteGoogle it, Ruth!
Delete