23/12/2016

CHRISTMAS EVE AT THE DINER

SAME PICTURE, DIFFERENT STORY!
I wasn't totally satisfied with my first response to this week's Friday Fictioneers' photo prompt, so here's another story. Do feel free to scroll down and read the other two stories I've posted this week.


CHRISTMAS EVE AT THE DINER

Sally’s feet ached. Christmas Eve had been a long, hard slog.
Lorry drivers had merely grabbed a burger without leaving a tip, every family had brought over-excited, noisy children, and someone had thrown up in the toilets.
The moment the last customer left, Sally grabbed the keys to lock up – with luck she’d be home before midnight – but just then a couple stumbled out of the darkness.
“Don’t lock us out,” the man pleaded, “My wife’s in labour,” and as Sally held the door open for them, one brilliant star came to rest in the night sky over the diner.

28 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Certainly less dark than my first effort!

      Delete
  2. Nice. Seasonal. Good job :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I saw that one coming. At least a diner was much better than the caves they used for barns in Jesus' day.

    I loved the sentiment here, and could visualize her expression changing from sadness to wonder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Thanks Russell - It was easy to guess where it was going!

      Delete
  4. Lovely modern take on the traditional story. Well done (again) Liz.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for returning and commenting again, Susan.

      Delete
  5. Dear Lizzy

    I enjoyed this one very much.

    Holiday Shalom,

    Rochelle

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ahhh, a sweet tale indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  7. A most lovely one indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  8. this was super sweet - all in 100 words too - and the interplay with a holiday baby and the nativity...
    really enjoyed this...
    :)
    ~priorhouse

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks priorhouse. Happy Christmas!

      Delete
  9. Babies find a way to arrive at unexpected times. Nice one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We know about babies, Subroto!

      Delete
  10. Adorable! I totally didn't see that one coming. You never know who may come to your door. Loved this one. :)

    Anne from annehiga.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you Anne, and happy christmas!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I think Christmas tale would play out exactly like that.

    ReplyDelete
  13. It could if it happened today.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Aaah, nicely festive story.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lovely, different version of the Christmas story, Liz. Good writing. Happy Holidays and a great New Year 2017. :) --- Suzanne

    ReplyDelete

Leave a comment, please - I will reply to everyone.