12/06/2015

TABBY - a 100 word story

TABBY

I was under the dresser when I heard Mum say Nan was really ill, and I pressed my face into Tabby’s fur. Tabby is the best cat ever but she hissed at me.
“Come away, Lucy,” Mum said but I couldn’t. Gross slimy things were coming out of Tabby’s bottom, and it was even worse when she started licking them, but Mum said, “Those are kittens. They came out of Tabby’s tummy like you came out of mine.”
“And like you came out of Nan’s?” I said and Mum cried.

That’s how I knew Nan was going to die.
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This story was prompted by the above photograph posted on Rochelle's blog for Friday Fictioneers. Follow the Blue Frog icon on  https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/  to read more takes on the prompt from around 100 other writers. 
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34 comments:

  1. That's really moving, Lizy. So well crafted too.

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    1. Thanks Ros. I used to hide under the dresser when I was little, though ours didn't have doors.

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    1. Thanks Robert - it took me a while to get it rght this week!

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  3. A little girl learns about birth and death in the space of 100 words - well done!

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  4. Poor Lucy - that's a lot to contend with at a young age. Such a lot of story packed into so few words, well done Liz :-)

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    1. Kids are resilient. Thanks Annalisa.

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  5. Heart-rendering. And very effective use of the child's voice to really pull at the heart-strings...

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  6. Excellent Llzy! Told in a way that a small child (and me) can understand. :D

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    1. Thank you PJ - perhaps I'll try it out on my grandson!

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  7. That was exceptionally done Lizy. A child's view of birth and death beautifully encapsulated. Well done.

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    1. Sandra, thank you so much - you've made my day.

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  8. Very good, Lizy - what a closing line!

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    1. Thanks Susan - sometimes 100 words aren't quite enough and I wondered whether what was in my mind had worked out on the page.

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  9. The ending got me like a punch!

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    1. Thanks for commenting, Dawn, and I hope you recover quickly!

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  10. I guess this is how kids learn about birth and death. The last line was oh-so powerful!

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    1. Hello, JJ - yes, this is one of the least painful ways for them to learn.

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  11. The child's voice came out so well in the story. Wonderfully done.

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    1. Thanks Subroto - I like getting in touch with my inner child :)

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  12. She seems quite mature and accepting. It touched a chord.

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    1. Not a painful one I hope? Thanks for commenting.

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  13. A very bittersweet tale, I think there are moments when you learn about life and death... Lovely told

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  14. Dear Lizy, Great story - but didn't know I was so sick. (ha ha)! But, I'm back from vacation! I really liked your story! Nan

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    1. Sorry I had to kill you off, Nan, but a writer has to make hard decisions occasionally about her characters!

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  15. Lucy did a lot of growing up in those 100 words!

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    1. She did - is that what they call a pivotal moment?

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  16. A moment of growth for Lucy. Beautifully described.

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    1. Thaks Margirene - hopefully watching the kittens grow will take away the pain of losing her Nan.

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  17. Dear Lizy,

    What a way to learn of birth and death in a short span of time. Very well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thank you Rochelle - I actually saw kittens born under the dresser when I was about five!

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