05/02/2014

TABLE SALE


TABLE SALE

You wanna buy a lamp?
Hang on – I know you! You got the makings of a spliff on you?

Paul? No – he’s gone. He was a weird one - everything had its own special place and you’d better not move it. He was a pain to live with, but I put up with it until the business of the lamps. He found fault with each one I got, so I cracked him over the head with the last one.

No, I can’t remember which one – does it matter?
Each one’s a quid whether it’s a murder weapon or not.

Friday Fictioneers is contributed to by writers from all round the world. We write 100-word stories prompted by a photograph posted on this site

36 comments:

  1. Dear Liz,

    I'm backing away from the table now. Love the dialogue. And I learned a new word, "spliff." Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Sorry - did I scare you? 'Spliff' is the word they use round here - I'm sure there are hundreds of others!

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  2. EBay's probably the place to sell something like this!!

    janet

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    1. 'Lamp for sale - slightly stained'?

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  3. He found a terrifying use for those lamps. Good story.

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    1. I'm still not sure which one she used!

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  4. This was very funny! What a sale!

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    1. Thanks Glynis - do you think she actually sold it?

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  5. What could be better than a murder weapon to light your beside reading... Nice one.

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    1. If those are the kind of stories you read last thing at night!

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  6. Spliff? Is that a dolt? or a pothead? I've lived with an obsessive compulsive everything in its place. I can imagine the satisfaction of cracking one over the skull. I think it best he get rid of the murder weapon ASAP. Very clever.

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    1. It's a roll-up with an added ingredient. OCD is of course something we should sympathise with, but living with it is a pain in the ....

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  7. It's best to use one without a shade, because of the blood splatter. Er, I mean I expect it would be ...

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    1. A word from the wise, Patsy?

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    2. I enjoyed this story with its good dialogue. I live abroad also, but in India, and I haven't heard the word "spliff" here so I had to look it up. I think I'll just buy new lamps from now on.

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  8. That's why I get my lamps from John Lewis...

    Lots packed in there, Liz - a great little tale!

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    1. I can't remember the last time I bought a lamp! John Lewis? Oh if only I still lived in UK?

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  9. Oh dear, I'll never buy used lamps again.

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    1. You'll be okay as long as you check them for blood!

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  10. Great story - I have bought lamps at garage sales before but I never did a CSI test on them for blood - I guess I will next time. ha ha Good job! Nan

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  11. Great story - checking for blood from now on at garage sales!

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  12. Well, I keep writing a comment and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. If it doesn't work this time - I give up - BUT, I like your story. I am going to check for blood from now on. Thanks! Nan

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  13. NANCLAIRE you managed three comments so you are obviously pressin all the right buttones, Perhpas i should go back and chanch shose where ?i think I've left two>

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  14. Well done, Liz. A chilling conclusion! At yard sales, I often find myself wondering about the history of the items for sale...

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  15. My response just disappeared too... I'm going to guess that it's off to some back room to be ok'ed by Liz. Let's hope. But confusing... to see your comment disappear! :-p

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    1. Dear tales-etc, thanks for both your comments! I enabled 'comment moderation' last year after my blog was invaded by spammers. I try to check regularly so that genuine comments appear quickly.

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  16. And no extra charge for incriminating finger prints? Such a deal! Delightful story!

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    1. No - it all goes in the same price.

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  17. Loved the dialogue all the way :)

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    1. Thank you camgal - these 100 worders seem to work well with dialogue, don't they?

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  18. Oops. Paul really shouldn't have opened his mouth, since it got him silenced forever.Well atleast I won't be making the same mistake... :D

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    1. It's always wise to agree with your wife's choice of household goods!

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  19. Yup, I learned a new word too!

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  20. I have interesting friends - can you tell? :)

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  21. Great short! Now I have to go look up "spliff."

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