12/12/2013

FRIDAY FICTION - ONLY WORN ONCE

Friday Fictioneers is contributed to by writers from all round the world. We write 100-word stories prompted by a photograph posted on this site http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/

This week’s stories are on here http://new.inlinkz.com/luwpview.php?id=341075 so do check them out.

This is my first story in this challenge - comments welcome but please be gentle!


ONLY WORN ONCE

He removed the wrapping paper slowly – from the shape and weight he knew what she’d bought him. She looked so anxious that he couldn’t tell her he’d been saving for some decent Berghaus boots.
“They’re lovely – the right size, too.”
“The man said they’re a good brand – you can wear them on holiday.”

He was so uncomfortable that he missed the right path, and when they reached a wall he removed the boots to let his feet breathe.
“Just going for a leak,” he said and vaulted over, carefree and careless.

She sold the boots on Ebay – ‘Only worn once’.

29 comments:

  1. Wow! Nice twist. Sounds like she wasn't going to let his death keep her from getting her money back for those boots.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Welcome. A nice story with a twist for your debut at Friday Fictioneers. I see you live in Tenerife - we've wintered at Los Gigantes a few times - beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  3. thanks Danny - she's a woman after my own heart!
    Sandra - Tenerife is lovely but this week hs been a bit stormy - I blogged about it yesterday!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love that.

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. I can see from your story you have a great imagination. :-)

    Thanks for visiting my blog as well

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear Lizy,

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers, our global family.

    I guess she saw through him at last. I hope she made a profit.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you kat and Rochelle - after this week I am going to have to ration my visits to other blogs but everyone is so good!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Liz, First welcome to FF... myself I have posted on over a year, so I guess it makes me a sophomore... love the twist. I'm unsure if it was good riddance or she truly was sorry... after all she bought him the boots... And Tenerife... I love the place, been there many times...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you Bjorn. Perhaps she was just pragmatic?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh I love it! Welcome to FF!

    Regards!

    Jim

    ReplyDelete
  10. Welcome LIzy! I'm relatively new too, but have been posting for about 4 months and haven't missed a week yet; it's highly addictive! Great group of people and wonderful stories.

    I like what you've done here. Left me wondering and curious. I understand his disappointment, but clearly there's a lot more to their relationship than the boots. Well done!

    I wrote two this week, the first time I've done that. I have a continuing story (3 entires now) that needed to be written and then a much darker story demanded to be written. I's a fun weekly challenge.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi, Lizy, and welcome to the Fictioneers. I enjoyed that ending. I can see him jumping over that wall and plummeting into who knows what void. :-)

    janet

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hello, Lizzy! Welcome to FF and congratulations on a good story with a twist. My favorite kind!
    ~Lynda

    ReplyDelete
  13. Great story, Lizy. I bet he took more than just a leak though once over the wall. : )

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank you all for the welcome! I know someone who didn't look before he leapt and ended up in hospital.

    ReplyDelete
  15. First Welcome Lizy! I'm new here myself and it looks like you have received quite the welcome from many in this writing group.

    This was a lovely story, communication is so important in any relationship. I hope she got a great deal. See you next week!

    ReplyDelete
  16. First off, as others have said, welcome to FF! I've been doing it for about 3-4 months and I always look forward to it! It's great fun.

    At least he didn't take his new boots with him! I have an image of him grinning as he vaults, all unsuspecting, into the void. Kinda sad.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Sorry, just saw your request to "leave your name" - the comment which probably says "Alistair Phillips" is draliman!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hi Liz,
    Very creative effort, and so realistic it could have been taken from real life. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers and I hope to see you back here and read your stories often. Ron

    ReplyDelete
  19. so Alistair is draliman - or is it the other way round?Thank you for commenting anyway! And to Ron - vaulting over a wall without looking is a dangerous pursuit.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Welcome Lizy
    I liked the open ended quality of the resolution - good stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Nicely done. That's why I never leap over walls without looking first. Also I never leap over walls because I'm too weak to get over them ...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers! Great story - and what Perry said ;)

    ReplyDelete
  23. A great take on Hemingway's (?) nine worder.
    Welcome to FF

    ReplyDelete
  24. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers! This is a very supportive writing community. I've only been a contributor for a few months now. I really enjoyed your debut story. Love a good twist ending!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Thank you all for a lovely welcome - all those I haven't managed to visit this time I shall try to get to next week.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Reading Pleasure17/12/2013, 11:27

    Welcome aboard, Liz. That is a great first with a fine twist!

    ReplyDelete
  27. give him credit. at least, he didn't leave with his boots on.

    ReplyDelete

Leave a comment, please - I will reply to everyone.