02/07/2020

ON THE HUNT - a story in 100 words


ON THE HUNT

He sits slumped in the outpatients’ department like a fly-tipped sack in a side road. Drunk, or high on something, though it looks more low than high – a life out of control.
Alone.
I sit beside him, inhaling the sour, unwashed smell like perfume.
A nurse asks, “You with him?” Hopeful.
I shrug. “Sort of.” Non-committal.
She shines a light in his eyes. “He’ll live.” Looks round the crowded Saturday night room and sighs. “Take him home.”
I scrawl an illegible signature, heave him upright. “Come on, mate.”
The nurse moves on, he's forgotten already.
He’s mine now.
 ..............................................................................................................
Control was the word that sprang out of this otherwise unremarkable scene, though as it was Canada Day yesterday and my youngest lives over there with his Canadian wife and daughters, I was reminded of the wide Canadian roads and traffic signs waaaay up high - very strange to my English eyes. I guess they have to be that high up because the trucks are so enormous!
Thanks to Na'ama Yehuda for the photograph and to Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers on her blog, from whence you can follow the frog link to read other stories.  https://rochellewisoff.com/

34 comments:

  1. Goodness, what is she going to do with him I wonder!?

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  2. Chilling ending. And I loved the image of the fly-tipped man,

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  3. Oh my! What a creepy last line. This would be a great novel opening.

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    1. So it would, Annalisa - perhaps one day...

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  4. Oh my goodness, I wasn't expecting the way you turned this into something sinister! Beautifully done, Liz.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

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    1. Thanks Susan - I was in a sinister mood this morning!

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  5. This is scary, but I'd love to know what is going to happen.

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  6. scary, she doesn't sound like a good samaritan.

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  7. I really like this, Liz. There's a much bigger story here.

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    1. Thanks, Helen - that's the fun of flash, when it works!

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  8. Dear Liz,

    I feel a bit of a chill in the air with this one. Lots of unanswered questions. Could very well be an intro to a longer story.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. I'm not sure I could keep up being nasty for a longer story!

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  9. There's something about him she knows and we don't! Intriguing Liz.

    Here's mine!

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    1. Or ... maybe he's just a stranger and she's a predator?

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  10. Chilling ending. I guess there are people who prey on pain and desolation and it makes them feel strong :)

    - Justjoyfulness

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    1. Exactly, JJ - you've caught my meaning. Thaks.

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  11. Oh dear! Let's hope she has good intentions. Somehow it doesn't seem likely. Please, write another chapter!

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    1. Thanks for reading this one, Jade. Another chapter? Depends on next week's picture!

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  12. Hmm. She doesn't want him. Seems no one does. His future doesn't look too bright, does it?

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    1. She wants him, but her motives are deeply suspect.

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  13. What a creepy predator!
    And... are our traffic lights that high?

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    1. Yes, waaaay up high compared with England!

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  14. Not sure that's going to be a good thing at all.

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    1. It doesn't bode well for our patient, that's for sure

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  15. Sounds like a body snatcher that's going to be up no good. YIKES !!!
    Be safe …
    Isadora ��

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  16. So much could happen here.

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  17. That last line took it in a whole other direction. A predator on the prowl who just found her next hopeless victim.

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    1. A predator, yes. Strange how everyone assumes a female when I wrote with a male in mind!

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