29/07/2020

BLUE - a story in a hundred words.

Foreword!

Memory's a funny thing.
I last saw this image in 2013, yet I recognised it instntly, and I also recalled the story I wrote seven years ago - I even remembered the title, so it was easy to find in my archives!
So here it is again, with only a couple of tweaks and no apology - I think it's worth another outing - what's your opinion?

Oh yes, and thanks to Jean L Hays for the photo and Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers on her blog.  https://rochellewisoff.com/
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BLUE

If I stand on a chair I can see people through the dolphin window. The postman’s face looks really funny all blue, like an alien. So does Daddy’s, but he turns pink indoors, which is so boring.

When Mummy came home from hospital last week I waved at her, but she didn’t wave back because she was holding our new baby. His face changed to pink in the house too, but I wished it would stay blue like my Smurfs.

Then yesterday Mummy screamed “He’s turning blue!” and the ambulance came.

Did I kill my baby brother with my wish?
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For thos who don't know what they are, this is a Smurf. My children used to collect little plastic models of them, and there are several films.




39 comments:

  1. Dark and clever, Trish.
    Well done

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  2. A compelling and veridical glimpse of child's reasoning

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    Replies
    1. That poor child will carry the guilt for ever, I fear.

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  3. This is a good one. It is dark, but realistic. A lot of eldest children resent their siblings at first, even if they do not all wish them dead.

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    1. My elder daughter bitterly resented her fifteen month younger sister. They're great friends now, most of the time!

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  4. Dark and very imaginable. Quite unnerving, in fact.

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  5. Well now, you led me along with such a happy-go-lucky little story to make me smile and then suddenly everything changed and my jaw dropped. Well done for taking me by surprise.
    I didn't read this the first time around, but it was definitely worth a second airing!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

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  6. That was fun, until the tragic ending, didn't see that coming. Well written Liz

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  7. Oy, poor kid. Children's magical thinking can sure get them into believing they are at fault for things they are not. :(

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    1. They can believe they're responsible for all kinds of disaster.

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  8. Don't recall reading that one before, Lizy. Hope you allowed both children to survive.

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    Replies
    1. It was seven years ago, and I haven't yet written chapter two!

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  9. Oh boy! That's how guilt complexes form. I really hope an adult picks up on her imminent change in behavior and is able to get her to verbalize her thoughts. Glad you reposted it, Liz, or I would not have seen it.

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  10. Dear Liz,

    This was definitely worth the rerun. Such a dark story told with a child's understanding. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  11. Very funny...I think! Well done for sure!

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  12. Damn, now I am humming the smurf tune. Loved the child logic.

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    Replies
    1. Sorry for the ear worm- fortunately I don't know that tune!

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  13. You took us right into the mind of a child. A lovely story worthy of another outing in 2028!

    Here's mine!

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  14. Gosh! I was enjoying it until the end came and hit me. I'm sure the baby survived and the little child was freed of guilt :) Great child voice, Liz!
    -Justjoyfulness

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  15. Oh dear. Such a reflection on "be careful what you wish for." Great story.

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  16. i don't recall reading this story. thanks for sharing it again. :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for reading it, possibly again!

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  17. A dark ending but then at age five me and my cousins fed my sister a poisoned leaf (note not all plants are edible). Always helps when your Aunt and Uncle are doctors.

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  18. I love how you threaded the color blue through the story, even to the dread-filled end. good job.

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  19. Oh, heavens! I hope that poor child didn't have to live with that guilty thought lingering in her mind very long!

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    1. I hope so too, though I haven't thought through the plot.

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  20. Reminds me of the experiments I did on my brother to make him change colour. I only managed mud colour (you can guess how) and green.

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