22/11/2018

EROSION - a 100 word story for Friday Fictioneers


EROSION

Val glared across the table at Dennis. “You can’t leave me – we had such dreams!”
You had dreams – I just had to work all hours to provide the cash.”
Val clenched her fist round her coffee. “While I kept the house nice and raised the kids.”
“Nagging me incessantly, like water eroding rock. You’ve worn me away till there’s nothing left.” Dennis began spreading marmalade meticulously to the edge of his toast. His hand was shaking, Val noticed, and reality hit her like a brick – she didn’t want to lose him.

She took a deep breath. “Let’s talk about it.”
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This photo was taken by Dale Rogerson and posted on Rochelle's blog   https://rochellewisoff.com/  as a prompt for Friday Fictioneers.  It's such a lovely view that I struggled to find a story to fit, but here it is at last.

I had an unexpected boost to my esteem yesterday when my stepdaughter told me she was finally reading A Volcanic Race, my first book published last year, and was loving it. 'So well written,' she said, with only a hint of surprise in her voice! Families, eh? I am soon to publish my third book, the next in my Living Rock series, called Wolf Pack, yet only a handful of my large extended family have read any of them.

Which reminds me - Christmas is coming - why not buy a copy for yourself or a friend? They are available on Amazon in paperback or Kindle versions.

36 comments:

  1. Aaaw – maybe there's hope?

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  2. Fingers crossed they can work this out, it sounds like they've been through a lot together.

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  3. Run, Dennis, run! There's plenty more marmalade on offer out there.

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    1. Helen! Such cynicism from one so young!

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  4. I liked the way you showed me this couple, painting in the details so that I could really see them: she "clenched her fist round her coffee", he spread "marmalade meticulously to the edge of his toast". Good work, Lizy!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

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    1. Thank you Susan. I wasn't sure till I wrote it which way it would end. His meticulous spreading of marmalade might have been the last straw!

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  5. When at least one of the two remembers the power of communication, not all is lost.

    Your note made me smile. Those words about our a word-baby evokes such warm feelings. Congrats.

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    1. Thanks Magaly. Actually to hear those words on the phone was lovely.

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  6. I can sympathise with the family - if they won't read it, what chance do we have with strangers picking it up and giving it a read -a little support goes a long way! I wonder if this couple have gone beyond talking now, perhaps it is too late.

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    1. Are you in the same boat with your family, Iain? One does not want to be reduced to begging, but it hurts that they can't be bothered. "I don't get time to read," is no excuse when it's family!!

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  7. I don't see much of a future for this couple. Takes two to repair the cracks. Jilly, Sugar on the Bee.

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    1. Maybe if they'd started talking sooner...

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  8. Perhaps there is hope, both for the characters in your story and for your family reading your books. Nicely done.

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  9. Nice details, but he's out of there.

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  10. Couples quibble... if there is true love, they move past that into the real... I liked this very much.
    And yay that your stepdaughter is enjoying what I found was a wonderful book!

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  11. I think they'll make it, but maybe I'm overly optimistic!

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  12. My family is really large, and pretty much only 2 of them read my stuff. My friends don't read my blog either. I have decided that it's given me more freedom and I can write deep or weird or dark and I don't have to worry about what they think. This is a well written story, I love where you took the prompt. The sound of the water is what got me to thinking as well.

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    1. Symanntha - that's a very positive way of looking at it - one I shall try in future.

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  13. i've heard it over. once a nagger always a nagger. to save the marriage, i suggest that she buys him designer ear plugs for christmas. :)

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    1. Or he could learn to listen the first time!

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  14. Some nice imagery in here building up the tension. Good one.

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  15. Dear Liz,

    I love the way you used the prompt. I'd say there's some hope for Dennis and Val. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thank you, Rochelle. I think they'll make it, but then i am the eternal optimist!

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  16. I think many relationships come to this point... and it can go two ways... but there is still hope

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    1. Sometimes only inertia keeps couples together.

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  17. That's a great ending, leaving hope.

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  18. This is exactly like life. The days quickly get away from us and we become complacent. I hope their wake up call wakes them up.
    Oh...and btw, good to read its not just my family who doesn't read a word I write! lol

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    1. Thanks Dawn, good to find out other authors aren't appreciated by their families, though it's sad too.

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