06/11/2014

BROTHERS - a 100 word story


BROTHERS

Jake could beat Billy every time in a fist fight, but Billy was smarter and was always talking Jake into trouble. Once Jake came in from the woods covered in dirt, crying, “Billy made me dig a tunnel but it collapsed and I got buried.” Billy just shrugged.

Years passed and Billy’s saloon parked beside Jake’s truck proved Billy had the better job, but the brothers still got drunk together after work. 
Until one night Jake staggered home alone.
“Where’s my Billy?” Mam shrieked.
Jake just shrugged. “We were drinking in the quarry and a heap collapsed – Billy got buried.”

Word count = 100

Thanks to http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/  for this week's photo prompt. My first thought was to write about a race but then this darker idea took over. I hope you like it - and please leave a comment to prove you've read it!


37 comments:

  1. Hmmm... very dark. But what else would you want a car like that for?

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    1. Digging ditches? Working in a quarry?

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  2. What goes around comes around, I guess. Doesn't sound like there's much love lost between them.

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  3. Dear Liz,

    Billy has a knack for getting buried, doeesn't he? Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Um - it was Jake who got buried the first tiime. He got his own back perhaps - or it could have been an acc ident.

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    2. Ah...well that makes more sense. I see it now. Karma has a way of coming back around, doesn't it?

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    3. It does. Did you ever read The Water Babies? There were two old women - Mrs Do-as-you-would-be-done-by and Mrs Be-done-by-as-you-did. Morality for children but it translates to adulthood :)

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  4. Oh dear, rather a sad ending. Or maybe, as they say, what goes around comes around.

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    1. Or as we said in our hippy days - That's Karma, man!

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  5. Hmm... Seems a little more than good ol' sibling rivalry going on here. Good story.

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    1. Thanks Caerlynn - brawn won over brains in the end.

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  6. Oh so sad.. a little Cain and Abel here?...

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    1. I almost titled it that but decided that would give the game away!

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  7. Jake didn't seem too upset. Me thinks it wasn't an accident.

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    1. You could be right - Jake probably knew his way around that quarry.

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  8. Oooh, dark chill to the end of that one, Lizy. Björn took the words from me.

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    1. Bjorn has a habit of finding the right words!

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  9. Hmmmm ... Billy wasn't so bright after all I guess.

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    1. Nobody's that bright when they're drunk!

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  10. Love it! Keep them coming Lizy. Hope the cyclists have moved on and the residents weren't tempted to bury them alongside Billy :)

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    1. Thanks Nicola - and ye, we are tempted, we just don't succumb :)

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  11. Just desserts I guess. Was Jake waiting for the right moment?

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    1. I guess he was - though he went a bit OTT!

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  12. Oh dear. Sweet revenge. Moral - don't drink and dig.

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    1. I'll remember that next time I'm tempted to do some gardening after a night out!

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  13. Oooh, sinister! Bad, bad Billy...
    Helen

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  14. I think Billy deserved it. Or at least sort of. Maybe Jake can get his job!

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    1. Looking on the bright side, perhaps Jake will!

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  15. That's really sad. I love how you make a point in so few words :-)

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    1. Thanks ros - these 100-worders are a complete contrast to the novel I'm updating.

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  16. Very dark indeed. Glad my sisters like me.

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    1. Me too, Alicia, though Kate and I sometimes fall out, it's not for long!

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  17. I like the balance in your story - the repetition of the burying incidents and the 'shrugged' response of each brother in his turn. Jake waited a long time, but he had his revenge. He's a cool customer.

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    1. Thank you for noticing those points, Margirene! You know what they say about revenge.

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  18. Brotherly revenge - like Cain and Abel? Yes, dark!

    Lily

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