PUDDLE
I don’t like the woods cos they’re dark and scary, but Mummy
wanted to pick mushrooms. She said I could wear my new boots but I mustn’t get
dirty or the bogeyman would get me.
The trees were waving their arms and I held Mummy’s hand,
but then I saw a big puddle so I ran and jumped.
It made a huge muddy splash and Mummy yelled, “No!” so I
stopped and turned round, but she’d disappeared and I couldn’t find her.
The bogeyman got her cos I jumped in that puddle - I’m
really sorry.
I want Mummy back.
This story is my 100 word response to the photograph prompt provided by Rochelle on her blog:
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/
Friday fictioneers is an online group of writers - you can read the other stories by following the link on Rochelle's Blog.
No! Where is she?
ReplyDeleteThe bogeyman got her, Baggy - do try to keep up!
DeleteOh...that's too sad.
DeleteLove it! Like your earlier one featuring the bridge over the marsh, it rings bells with a motif that is never far from my own imagining.
ReplyDeleteWe must have been separated at birth, Robert.
DeleteOh, this is really sad. Poor child. Forgive me if I don't ever read this story again - very powerful, but too sad.
ReplyDeleteSorry Annalisa - it was the shadows in the woods that prompted the story.
DeleteThe Bogeyman? As in Humphrey Bogart? No, I suppose not. Scary little story, this was.
ReplyDeleteA bogeyman is perhaps a typically English frightener.
DeleteOh dear... I suspect she won't be getting dirty ever again...
ReplyDeletePoor child could live with guilt for ever.
DeleteOh no, what a bad memory the child is going to hold forever or maybe night. Magic forests seem to rule with reason in most fair tales maybe they will this time. Thanks for the read - your story is wonderful! A pox on the bogeyman! Nan :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for that, Nan - perhaps his Mummy shouldn't have put the idea into his head?
DeleteGreat story!
ReplyDeleteLike Alice in Wonderland, let's hope this little tyke makes his or her way home. Great take on the prompt!
ReplyDeleteAlice in Wonderland scared me as a child and I still have noghtmares about being in a shrinking room. Childhood fears are powerful things.
DeleteVery intriguing, the child as narrator. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jan - I feel it makes the story more vivid to have the child tell the story.
DeleteIt was Mum's fault - she shouldn't have pinched the bogeyman's mushrooms.
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteHer mother is really hiding behind a tree to teach her a lesson for disobeying her (but what are boots for if not jumping into puddles!) and she will jump out any minute now! :)
ReplyDeleteI love that you've written your own ending. My daughter does the same - she hates unhappy endings!
DeleteDear Lizy,
ReplyDeleteI foresee a future neat freak. I hope Mum comes back. Love the narrator's voice. Good one.
shalom,
Rochelle
The child is going to have a whole slew of hang-ups!
ReplyDeleteI like your POV, too. Children do take these sorts of things upon themselves, even things that really do happen, such as divorce or sickness. But as in your story also, parents often, wittingly or unwittingly, bring that frame of mind about. Good story filled with terrible sadness.
ReplyDeletejanet
thank you for your thoughtful comment Janet.
Delete