10/05/2018

THE BURGER VAN - a story in a hundred words


THE BURGER VAN

Music was so unlikely in that dingy street that the night ladies paused in their negotiations to gather round the hatch.
Dale served everyone burgers and coffee, each burger-wrap and coffee-cup printed with a girl’s face.
“My daughter,” he explained.
They curled their lips. “What did you do to hurt her?”
He looked beyond them at the towers of wealth. “I turned my back when she needed me most. If you meet her, ask her to come home.”
He drove away, and the wind blew discarded cups into a corner where a ragged bundle huddled unseen.
......................................................................................................
I can't get excited about cities - nasty noisy rushing places that hurt my soul - so this week's flash fiction was bound to be down-beat. Thanks to https://rochellewisoff.com/ for posting the picture prompt taken by another Wisoff - read Rochelle's blog for the full story, and follow the link from there to read others.
I have been busy working on the latest draft of Wolf Pack, the next book in my series. If you haven't read Book One yet, the link to A Volcanic Race is at the top of this page.


46 comments:

  1. How sad! If she acknowledges how much he cares, maybe she'll forgive him?

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does she even know he's there looking for her?

      Delete
  2. Dear Liz,

    How very sad. Hope there's a reconciliation on the horizon.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Will she read one of his notices?

      Delete
  3. I liked this. He's trying. Probably not very effectively, but the important thing is he's trying. And that may be enough to move him on. Or, of course, it may trap him in obsession

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And a lot of night ladies get free meals.

      Delete
  4. Such a sad state of affairs. And may she not cut off her nose to spite her face if she does realise she is being searched for...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There might be a reconciliation in that wind.

      Delete
  5. So sad, but even that last line suggests the potential for a different future.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hope she sees the effort he has gone to and makes contact with him. Well written Liz.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Iain, he's doing his best, isn't he?

      Delete
  7. Such heart break and ache!

    Your 100 words posts are exquisite.

    ReplyDelete
  8. It only needs one person to recognise her. A poignant tale indeed Liz.

    Welcome to Keith's Ramblings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One is all it needs, or for her to find one of her dad's cups.

      Delete
  9. I so hope they find each other again. Very sad. Great story.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I suspect many runaways feel unloved, when that's not really the case.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right, patsy, but perhaps it's the wrong kind of love.

      Delete
  11. I hope they get to meet again. Somber tale.

    https://trailbrooklane.blogspot.com/2018/05/the-photograph_11.html

    ReplyDelete
  12. That's a very hard-hitting tale. He's done the easy bit - printing the cups and wraps. He's done the hard bit - going out among the night ladies. He hasn't yet done the necessary bit, which is to go out night after night after night looking, asking, gathering information, until he finds her, or finds evidence of what has happened to her.
    Excellent story, Liz. You used your dislike of the city to fuel a dense, multi-layered piece, with a wonderful contrast between the rich man and his destitute daughter, and a savage critique of the destructive lure of success.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, Penny - you read so much into my 100 words - thank you!

      Delete
  13. So sad. I know this is a real situation in many families. Lack of cummincation and understanding can lead children to mak wrong decisions and it' often too late to make amends. At least this father has realised his mistake. I hope he finds her...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope so too, Luccia. When my son ran away from home I did the same thing in a small way, and got him back after three days. Three very long days.

      Delete
  14. I hope they get together and mend their relationships. Nice take on the prompt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope so too. Thanks for visiting.

      Delete
  15. Nice version of the Beatles' 'She's Leaving Home'

    ReplyDelete
  16. So sad. I wonder if she heard him. I wonder if she'll survive long enough to find him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lots of possibilities for an ending.

      Delete
  17. I hope his efforts to reconnect bear fruit. :) She might find a wrap or a cup and one day decide to come out of the shadows...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She might - perhaps even tonight.

      Delete
  18. You have compressed a lot of hurting into one hundred words. The city has no redeeming features. I am sure this is true for many people, Jilly, Sugar on the Bee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you agree with me about cities, Jilly.

      Delete
  19. There's hope for his redemption and their reunion. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He hasn't given up hope yet. Thanks for commenting, Fatima.

      Delete
  20. That last bit was inspired. Bravo!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I think this happens many times... and the runaway feels ashamed and know not that she would be forgiven at once.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Prodigal son or daughter - the parents would kill the fatted calf in a heartbeat!

      Delete

Do leave a message before you go!