20/01/2017

OVIDUCT - Flash fiction

OVIDUCT

The entrance beckoned across the dinosaur theme park – gentle curves in the warm white of a breakfast egg. The children clamoured, so I paid the entry fee.
I walked easily through the first two arches, but when the third one touched my hair I felt a frisson of unease. 
“Wait for me!” I called, but they scampered ahead, and by the time I’d ducked through arches four and five they were nowhere to be seen. Childish giggles drew me further in until I was crawling on hands and knees.
When I couldn’t even force my shoulders through, the screaming started.
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I'm late on parade this week. I had my second cataract operation on Tuesday, and at the moment I'm managing with off-the-shelf reading glasses.
Today's prompt photo was taken by Dale Rogerson and posted by Rochelle on her blog  https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/  You can follow the Blue Frog link from there to read other stories, after you've commented on mine, of course. Thank you.



38 comments:

  1. A wonderfully atmospheric claustrophobic piece! Creepy, great!

    Click here to read my tale!

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    1. Thank you Keith - I'm happy the claustrophobia came through.

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  2. Groan! Thanks for reading, Paige.

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  3. Oh boy. That doesn't sound good at all. Poor little ones.

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    1. Their mother will never forgive herself either.

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  4. 'Oviduct' is a great title for this prompt. Hopefully someone gets her out okay. Nice take.

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  5. EEEK! She better start backing up. Sorry kids!

    One of my worst recurring nightmares is walking down a corridor (or stairs), following others, not able to see what's ahead, getting this sinister feeling... It would be one worse yet if I had to crawl.
    Christine's Collection

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    1. One of mine is similar - started, I believe, by Alice in Wonderland.

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  6. Great story. Your writing really conveys a sense of fear. Well done!

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    1. Thanks Jan - the photo gave me the creeps, so writing fear came far too easily.

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  7. Dear Liz,

    I could feel the walls closing in on me. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks Rochelle - horrid feeling, isn't it.

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  8. Very scary. The perfect trap. Great and very original story.

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    1. Not being able to reach and save the children - every parent's nightmare.

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  9. Nope... not a path I would like to take...

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    1. Neither would I, Dale - thanks for commenting.

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  10. The narrowing of the corridor is what struck me too. Love the title.

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    1. The title was the first one that came to mind, after which I couldn't think of another. Thanks for reading.

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  11. There is something of a perspective here... the concept of a constriction the children could pass is ingenuous...

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  12. Loved your take on the prompt and a well told story.

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  13. Yeek, I really hope this is just a nightmare she's having...

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    1. I have a theory that constriction nightmares might be memories of being born, but of course it's unprovable.

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  14. Yikes! I think I would have quit while I was ahead. Delightfully creepy.

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    1. Retrieving the children would present a problem, though!

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  15. Your story made me feel claustrophobic, Liz. Even the walls here appear to be closing in now. Well done.

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  16. Very good! enjoyed it
    James Hargreaves

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  17. Replies
    1. Nah na na nah nah! Scared you!!

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  18. Scary. I don't know how cave explorers do it. I'd be scarred stiff. Being responsible for children would be worse. Good writing, Liz. I'm glad to hear your eye operation went well. :) --- Suzanne

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    1. I can't watch those underground programmes, or even worse, underwater - i have to leave the room.

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