26/10/2016

WHO DARES? a 100 word story for Friday Fictioneers


WHO DARES?

Twice daily the guard from this end marches across for a shared smoke, the boom of his boots reminding us how deep the ravine is. Sometimes, while his back is turned, daring lads run on tiptoe to spray graffiti, their parents unwilling to forbid these small tastes of freedom.

But this morning the unthinkable happened – both guards disappeared. After an hour, two lads ventured across, and vanished without a sound. No yells, no shots, just a deathly silence. Eventually their fathers went looking, and they haven’t returned either.

We’ve been waiting all day. We don’t know what to do.
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After several attempts to copy the photo prompt, I believe I've managed it. I hope you can see the picture of an enclosed wooden bridge, otherwise my story won't make much sense! Thanks to https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/ for hosting Friday Fictioneers - follow the link from her blog to read other 100 word stories.

22 comments:

  1. Most intriguing. I think you definitely should do a follow up post that allows you more than 100 words and tell us, tell us, tell us ...

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    1. So you haven't made up your own ending, Sandra?

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  2. Another thought-provoking piece.

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    1. Have I left you wondering what happened? Good!

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  3. Ooh, I really like this. Very cryptic.

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  4. The unknown, so scary! Well done!

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    1. thanks for commenting. Yolande

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  5. Dear Liz,

    It's my hope that they escaped to freedom. Bleak and oppressive atmosphere. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks Rochelle. I felt bleak after I'd written it.

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  6. This is great. Freedom can be scary when you've been imprisoned for too long.

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    1. I'm sure there's a name for this syndrome but I can't think what it is.

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  7. Something nefarious is going on....

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    1. I agree, Dale - they're right to be wary.

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  8. I hope it was freedom, but somehow I'm suspecting that it was something nowhere near so welcome. Nicely done.

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    1. Judging by the feeling I was left with after writing it, I suspect the same.

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  9. I'm not sure I'd go looking for them just yet. A nice open ending.

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    1. Thanks for commenting,Russell.

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  10. Oh! Delightfully open ended! Thanks for leaving us wondering. I was almost glad the guards were gone, then everyone else began to disappear.

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    1. Sinister or spooky? It's up to you to decide!

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  11. Gee..I want to go see what happened to them...but do I dare...?
    Enjoyable read!

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