28/09/2016

SHOPPING - a 100 word story

SHOPPING

“I don’t need it,” I said, grabbing my backpack. “I’ll be five minutes – it’s only round the corner.”
I gave Mum a kiss – I’m glad about that – and as I went I was thinking what to get for her birthday. She likes Milk Tray and Dad doesn’t, and I’d just decided to get her a box when this enormous truck appeared out of nowhere. Then there were sirens and red-hot pain and now this corridor. It doesn’t look much like a hospital.

I should have listened to Mum and worn my helmet – she’s going to be so mad at me.
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Thanks to Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers on her blog -  https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/  . To read other stories prompted by the same photograph, follow the links on there.

33 comments:

  1. Ooh, a shocker, Liz.

    Powerful stuff.

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    1. With no time to think, this is what comes out. Scary!

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  2. After the first couple of lines I thought something was going to happen to the mum, so well done for surprising me.

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    1. Which would have been worse? Tough choice.

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  3. I thought something was going to happen to the mum too! Somehow, I think Mum will be relieved, not mad!

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    1. She will - as long as that really is a hospital corridor.

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  4. Dear Liz,

    Now there's a shopping trip gone bad. There's a lot to be said for helmets. There is a reason for them. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks Rochelle. My grandchildren always wear helmets, even on their little trainer bikes.

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  5. I have worn a helmet since they were first available... I feel naked without them and this sounds like the best of reasons... chilling.

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    1. Like seat belts, Bjorn - I couldn't drive without one.

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  6. Nicely written warning. I, too, thought Mom was in for it. Nice twist.

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    1. Do you know, I never even thought that readers might be afraid for Mum!

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  7. isn't it something that when a child, and even us adults, get hurt, whether or not, we or our children, heeded someone else's advice, we still think someone will be mad at us.
    May God bless and keep this child.
    Randy

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    1. Mum might say, 'I told you so,' but not until she's wept with gratitude that he's not dead. As long as he isn't, of course.

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    2. Mum might say, 'I told you so,' but not until she's wept with gratitude that he's not dead. As long as he isn't, of course.

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  8. Awww poor baby..hope she lives to see mom is not mad!

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  9. I found it interesting that despite being hurt she is more worried her mum being mad. I can empathize!! :D

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  10. I know how that feels! I was wishing I had worn a helmet when I went out on my tricycle this summer. :-) I thought I could not fall off one. And who would think you need a helmet for shopping?

    Lily

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    1. Three wheels are almost as risky as two - I hope you weren't hurt?

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  11. I hope the corridor is indeed a hospital and not some afterlife. What a shocker, great story.

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    1. Thank you for noticing the doubt about whether it was indeed a hospital, Ga H.

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  12. I hate shopping, but on the whole, I'd rather be shopping! Well done.

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    1. Even you must occasionally buy someone a gift?

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  13. A shopping trip gone wrong. Shopping can do that to a person. I felt like we really got inside his mind and then what a shocker at the end. Not what I expected. Great write.

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  14. It seems he's not in Kansas anymore. There are a lot of terrible accidents here that result in serious injury and death because people refuse to wear helmets. Good writing, Liz. ---- Suzanne

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    1. Not sure where you get KAnsas from? Wearing helmets on a bike should be compulsory - I'm not sure whether it is or not in UK.

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