07/07/2016

PRODIGAL SON - a 100 word story

PRODIGAL SON

In the narrow alleys of the barrio word spread like floodwater, and if Juan misbehaved his mother had her slipper waiting when he got home. “I heard what you did.”  At sixteen he ran away.

In the city Juan lived by his wits, and was soon smoking fat cigars and wearing gold rings. But when he was ill, no-one brought soup: when he fell, nobody helped him up: and when he screamed, nobody heard.

Aged thirty-two, he returned home, where his mother clipped his ear. “I heard what you did.”
Juan smiled happily as she washed the prison stink from his clothes.
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Thanks to Rochelle for this week's Friday Fictioneers' photo prompt. It reminds me vividly of the narrow alleys I saw in Tenerife, hence my Spanish hero Juan. You can read what other writers made of Jan Marler Morrill's photo by following the links here:  https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/



This is one of my own photos from Tenerife - you can see the resemblance.

26 comments:

  1. Never too old to be told off by your mum!

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    1. So true, as you and I both know!

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    2. I don't mind. Mum's always right. Always.

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  2. Ah.. maybe in the end he would make good and grow up...

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    1. His mother will find him a sensible girl and he'll be fine!

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  3. Always trust Mum as a safe haven! Nice story, Liz.

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  4. Mothers - nothing can replace them. Amazing the similarity between the two photos.

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    1. I had to check that I hadn't sent the photo to Rochelle!

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  5. This is great. Looks like Juan is on the right path now.

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    1. Thanks -Ga his mother will keep him in line!

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  6. Great structure - a whole coming of age story in 100 words. Very good.

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    1. Thanks you Margirene - you always find something nice to say!

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  7. Dear Liz,

    Funny how life makes one appreciate the things that used to irritate. The repetition of "I heard what you did" is effective. Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. I hoped someone would comment on that, Rochelle - thanks!

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  8. For some it takes a little longer to appreciate that momma knows best.

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    1. My own kids haven't learned that yet!

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  9. Good story, Liz. I can see a big resemblance between your photo and the picture prompt. My mother didn't physically punish me. She made me feel guilty ahead of time so I wouldn't do wrong in future. That works too. Good writing. :) --- Suzanne

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    1. I actually can't remcall what my punishments were, though I'm sure there must have been plenty!

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