10/02/2016

FASTNACHT - a 100 word tribute

FASTNACHT

“But Papa - you promised we’d go to the carnival!”
“I must deliver these bulbs,” Otto said, “I’ll be back by ten to take you.”
 Balancing his boxes carefully, Otto boarded the early train, grateful that the festival meant there were plenty of empty seats. The speed-streaked countryside had lulled him into a doze when, in one appalling, cacophonous instant, the carriage folded in on itself and crushed the life out of him.
 All Otto’s bulbs rolled from the wreck, and the following February a scattering of bright flowers paid tribute to the dozen victims of a jammed signal.

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The photographic prompt was taken by The Reclining Gentleman - one of the Friday Fictioneers whose stories you can read by following the links from Rochelle's blog.  https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/
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For those readers who do not hear European news, the German word fastnacht refers to Shrove Tuesday - Mardi Gras - Pancake Day. This year's holiday was marred by a dreadful tragedy in Germany when two commuter trains collided head-on. One mercy was that the school-children who would normally have been on the train were at home for the holiday.
Image result for german train crash 2016 free images


38 comments:

  1. well done! Otto will miss the carnival, but leave a lsting remembrance.

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    1. Otto's son will be devastated, though.

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    1. The crash made quite an impression on me.

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  3. My heart goes out to all those involved in this tragedy -- within the accident itself -- or with friends or family who were. Excellent and timely interpretation of the photo prompt!

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    1. Thanks Lilliam - and many of the injured will have to live with their wounds for life too.

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  4. Excellent story, Lizy and sensitively handled - well done.

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  5. sad but beautifully penned

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  6. My first thought was a vast "Oh!"
    My second, "What a tightly structured, completely realized story!"
    From start (with the dialogue between child and father) to finish (with the bulbs growing the following February in solemn tribute), it is perfectly composed.
    Well-done!

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    1. Thank you Vijaya for your lovely comment.

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  7. Tragic yet beautiful.
    I read about the train crash yesterday, a terrible thing to happen.

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    1. It was dreadful, though if the train had been full of school children, as it would have been on any other day, it would have been much worse.

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  8. Like how you've incorporated a topical event, Lizy.

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    1. Thanks Patsy - the train crash has been so much in the news it would have been hard not to write about it.

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  9. That was a terrible accident, and your piece reminds us of the every-day activities that can lead people to their deaths. Well done.

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    1. Thanks Sandra - the reverse side of that coin is that so many people were not on the train, of course. 'There, but for the Grace of God..'

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  10. What a flowerbed for graves... what a great and sad take on this Liz.

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  11. A beautifully told story but so sad because of the tragic train crash in Germany. It's lovely that you acknowledged the victims in this way

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    1. Thanks Siobhan - I hope the remainder of the victims recover well.

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  12. What a memorable story. Thank goodness those kids were home the day of the crash. Flowers would be a touching tribute. Nicely done, Liz.

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    1. Angels were watching over those kids, perhaps?

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  13. Tragic yet touching. Really well done.

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    1. Thanks for commenting, Miss Writer.

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  14. What a beautifully knit story. Sadness of death brightened by the spring flowers...

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    1. Thank you Dale - and those spring flowers will spread to cover the are one day.

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  15. There will be flowers in that place for years to come. It's such a horrible tragedy. You made a touching tribute to the victims in your story.

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    1. Thanks you Ga H. The daffodil bulbs I have on my windowsill have just stopped flowering so they're going in the ground for next year - immortality!

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  16. Dear Liz,

    A fitting tribute. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  17. It's so often a series of little, inconsequential details that go together to build the big moments in life, including the tragedies, as in your story. Well told. I love how you've used the flowers.

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    1. Hence the saddest words in the English language - "If only..."

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  18. Such a sad interpretation of the brought, but beautifully written!

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  19. I’m sorry for your tragedy but you have created a lovely story from it.

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    1. A tragedy which didn't affect me personally, thank God, but still touched my heart.

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