26/11/2015

A PATH MUCH TRAVELLED - a 100 word story

A PATH MUCH TRAVELLED

Jack and Jill went up the hill, via the chalk path which had been worn deep into the headland by generations of courting couples, in search of a warm, unoccupied hollow.

Jill’s mother watched them go, her arms stilled in soap-suds. Twenty years ago she’d climbed that path with her boyfriend, and consequently her dreams of escaping her home town were shattered. She returned to her chores, praying that Jill would be more careful.

Jack’s father, on his boat in the bay, smiled at remembered passion and then returned to his nets, hoping the boy would remember to use a condom.
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I feel obliged to mention that, although two of my four children were unplanned, they were all equally welcomed and loved.
Thanks to Sandra Crook for the photo that prompts this week's ventures into flash fiction by the members of the Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle, who is the recently-published author of Please Say Kaddish For Me. Follow the Blue Frog trail from her blog at https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/  to read dozens of other sotries.

27 comments:

  1. I've walked up that path myself - but I was a good girl!

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    1. Really? Where is it and hteep, exactly?

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  2. Ha ha - another peep into the world of your imagination, Lizy - loved it!

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    1. Thanks - it's a muddled world at best!

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  3. Dear Liz,

    What a fabulous twist on Jack and Jill. You wrote an entire novel in 100 words. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks Rochelle - now if my 100,000 word novel finds an agent I shall be even happier!

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  4. I think they are wise enough not to tumble quite yet... :-)

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  5. Escape is a myth. Every rung on the ladder is smaller than the one below.

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    1. Only if you're a window cleaner.

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  6. This was very well done. And I hope Jack does. And Jill doesn't.

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    1. Exactly - as I hoped for my children twenty years ago!

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    2. Exactly - as I hoped for my children twenty years ago!

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  7. Seems like virtue is no longer its own reward

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    1. that's a bit deep for a Friday!

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  8. So we finally get some of Jack and Jill's back story. Nice piece.

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    1. Thanks Chris - my first draft was much darker!

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  9. That's very cute. I love the thoughts of the two parents. Let's hope the kids know what they do.

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    1. Even if they dont, I know from experience that their respective parents can do nothing to stop them!

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  10. Well, this is quite a unique take on the prompt, Liz. I like how you incorporated the nursery rhyme into your story. it works well! Let's hope no one falls and breaks his/her crown.

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    1. I toyed with the idea of a complete rewrite of the nursery rhyme, but this worked better for me.

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  11. One person's sadness is another's happiness...

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  12. Loved the side thoughts of the parents.... Although, maybe the story was actually about teh parents?

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    1. I didn't think that deeply about it, roger - it simply evolved!

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