16/07/2015

SERENDIPITY - a 100 word story

This week's 100 word story comes to you from a very happy household - yesterday we found buyers for our apartment and, all being well, we complete by the end of August.
What next? A move back to England - specifically to Sussex where my family lives - but as we will be homeless until we find a flat there to rent I may be 'off air' through September.

Friday Fictioneers is an online group of roughly a hundred writers who blog a 100 word story each week prompted by a photograph chosen by  Rochelle on her site, where you can read the other stories by clicking on the blue frog.   https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/

................................................. HERE'S MY VERSION ............................................

SERENDIPITY

“Karen – where the hell is this hostel?”
“Round here somewhere.”
“Well, find it soon – this knapsack weighs a bloody ton. Why did you bring so much?”
“It’s not all mine, and you insisted on buying the biggest one.”

Spotting a street sign, Karen said, “I think it’s up here,” and she’d walked fifty yards before she spotted it – a mosaic in the sky – a landing-strip for angels.
 “Dave! You’ve got to see this roof.”
“The only roof I want is one with a shower under it,” Dave yelled back and trudged on – weary sulks trump serendipitous finds every time.


44 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks Robert - it's been a long wait since last September!

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  2. Great last line, and so true!

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    1. Thanks Perry - we've all been out with someone in a mood like Dave's, I'm certain!

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  3. Hope you find a new place soon
    Love your stories!

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    1. thanks Dawn - yours are ones I always look for too.

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  4. Loved that last line. And many congratulations Liz, I know the housing market has been difficult so you must be overjoyed. Happy moving!

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    1. Cheers Sandra - I know we'll get there, though my tummy at the moment says otherwise!

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  5. Dear Liz,

    Dave doesn't seem to be having a good time. Love the dialogue. Congratulations on your sale and best wishes for a smooth move.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks Rochelle. My neice travelled with her boyfriend and their relationship didn't last the course - being reliant on just one person's company is a risk.

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  6. They call them back-packers but they never pack spare backs.

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    1. Haha! Very good, and it seems dave overestimated his strength too!

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  7. If I had to carry that weight I wouldn't care about the fancy roof either. After the shower he'll think differently, I'm sure. Great story.

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    1. I hope he does - it would be a shame to miss it.

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  8. Poor Dave. I've served as a pack mule myself on a few such hauls. Excellent job, Liz.

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    1. But did you insist on buying the biggest backpack?

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  9. Nothing worse than travelling with a sourpuss!

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    1. You're so right, Dale - been there, bought the T-shirt!

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  10. Congratulations, both on the story and the move. :) Happy journey. Though I suppose "pack light" will not happen on that! :D

    Leo @ I Rhyme Without Reason

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    1. Thank you Vinay - and we'll be hiring a freight agent!

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  11. You have turned such a common experience in to a lovely tale. Great piece.

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    1. Thanks Yarnspinnerr - are those two Rs because you're Celtic?

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  12. This story resonates...I'm sure we've all experienced something similar at one point in our lives!

    Good luck finding a new home! Hopefully things will be quick. :)

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    1. Thanks Tiffany - I had such a moment this morning - it happens even more frequently when one is stressed!

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  13. What a wonderful idea to write 100 word stories each week. The photograph wasn't from Beaune, in France by any chance, was it? I was there last month and the old hospital there had a roof very similar to that one. I love the idea of it being a landing-strip for angels. Well done.

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    1. Thanks Angela - yours is the first comment that has mentioned the bit I liked best in my story this week, so you're doubly welcome to my blog :)

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  14. I love how you've used the prompt - the characters are appealing and your dialogue and descriptions are great. I do agree - that's some roof. Congratulations on the sale, and I hope the move is smooth.

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    1. Thanks Margirene. I am alternating between elation and panic about the move. I think I might have to write the stress out of my system on my blog. You have been warned!

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  15. Wishing you an easy, well organized, and peaceful move. Love your FF - wonderful glimpses of everyday life!

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    1. Thank you Yolanda - the move will be as well organised as I can manage, but whether it's easy or not is in the hands of the gods!

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  16. Love the "angels" line. Sorry Karen's flight of fancy was brought back down by such a grouch (though I can muster a good dose of empathy for Dave as well.) Congrats on the move.

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    1. Thanks Kimberly - I am now up to my ears in packing!

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  17. Excellent last line. Great news about your buyers and good luck with the move. Busy time ahead!

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    1. Thanks Ros - the busy time has already started - one box of books packed today - those that I doubt I will be able to find again.

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  18. What a terrific closing line! So sad and so true. :)

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    1. Thanks Susan - and yes, that line came from the heart!

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  19. Liz,

    It looks as though Blogspot is allowing me to post once again. My apologies for the long silence.

    Congratulations on the sale. Here's hoping you won't be sleeping under the stars as you search for a new place to call home.

    Good story. Believable for sure. In fact, this could easily be a conversation between myself and my spouse.

    All my best,
    MG

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    1. Thanks for persevering and coming back, MG - we also hope the gods aill be on our side in the coming months.

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  20. A very believable story this one. Travel can be so educational.

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    1. Educational? It certainly sorts out strong relationships from weak ones!

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  21. Brilliant news - so pleased for you!
    But I have to disagree with the last line of your story. For me, serendipitous finds are what make the difficulties of travelling worthwhile. I'd much rather be backpacking with Karen than moaning Dave!

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    1. Thsnks linda! Totally agree with you about karen being a better travel vuddy i hoped i'd msde it clear? 😕

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  22. Entertaining piece of flash - thanks for sharing.

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