07/08/2014

MEETING THE FAMILY - 100 word fiction

Another story in 100 words prompted by a photograph posted by Rochelle http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/

MEETING THE FAMILY

We emerged from the tunnel to see mountain on one side and a precipitous drop on the other, but Raul said, “We’ve arrived,” and drove over the edge onto a narrow shelf cut into the rock.
“My ancestors fought the Conquistadores from here,” Raul said proudly.

The house clung to the cliff, chickens pecked, and a stream glistened to the sea through terraces where oranges glowed like suns. A distant figure waved a hoe and began climbing impossibly steep steps.

“Grandfather began this house,” Raul said, “We will live at the top when you marry me.”
“Is that a proposal?”
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Meanwhile, if anyone is interested in buying an apartment that is a little easier to access, please look at the page at the top of my blog.


22 comments:

  1. The story built up well, and a nice little ending, but needed more impact somehow.

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    1. Gentle was all I could manage this week, Hamsih!

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  2. I'm sure that there are houses like these also on Teneriffe... and the top-floor is probably quite easy to access. the thought of moving in at the top is a strong proposal..

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    1. There are houses like this hidden away - and fields that one has to be born to farm! I think Raul could have been a bit more romantic.

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  3. I'm sure if I'd accept the proposal knowing I'd to live in this house.

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    1. It looks amazing - a long walk to the shops, though!

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  4. Not so much a proposal as a demand! Reckon she should make him work a little harder, though maybe not as hard as grandfather did.

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    1. I think she's probably destined for a life of toil as well.

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  5. Raul's a tad sure of himself, but I like that in a man.

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    1. Of course he may have proposed before and just be waiting for an answer, but there isn't room for a back-story in 100 words!

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  6. love the story behind the house and the descriptions of the surroundings :)

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    1. Thanks theec - I have actually seen place like this in Tenerife so it's easy for me to visualise.

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  7. Dear Liz,

    How could a girl refuse a proposal like that? Perhaps Raul's one of those guys who doesn't know how to show his feelings. Nicely done.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Ah - the strong silent type - and with a home to offer. It's a no-brainer really!

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  8. "When you marry me . . . " as strange as this sounds, I completely understand his assumption almost as much as her surprise. In fact, this is almost exactly how my own proposal went. Except I used the phrase while we were eating at "our" restaurant. Not sure if that's better or worse than on a trip home to meet the family.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

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    1. My proposals were less romantic - I've had two - and the second one was " I suppose I'd better move in with you."
      I'm unlikely to get a third one at my age!

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  9. Liz, Good story. If she accepts his proposal, she better be in really good condition and like heights. It didn't say if they had to climb to reach the tunnel, so maybe she could get by with average physical ablility. Well written. Beautiful photos of the area near your apartement. : ) ---Susan

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    1. The road runs through the tunnel, so once she's climbed those steps she'll be fine. At least it will be a downhill trip with the shopping!

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  10. Made me smile :)
    It would be the prospect of literally living on top of his extended family that would put me off!

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    1. Me too - but there are many families out here that do exactly that - live on top of each other!

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  11. I like how it seems we are eavesdropping on a pivotal moment in someone's life. How life can just happen 'like that' without a splashy setting. Just simply put, "We will live at the top when you marry me." Of course, without context, it is possible that this is a scary, abduction scene instead. I'll go for romantic instead.

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    1. Definitely romantic, kirizar, and thanks!

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