01/05/2014

SHROUD - A story in 100 words.

SHROUD

It was a village tradition – the candle that had illuminated Rosa’s mother’s coffin now burned at home. 

Rosa never snuffed out the flame, and the shroud of wax was allowed to grow unchecked. She believed her mother was still there while the candle lasted, so when Isaac lit his cigarette from it she was appalled.
“You disrespect Mama’s soul!”
“Superstitious rubbish – dead is dead.”

That night, while Rosa was visiting friends, the candle flickered in a zephyr breeze. A curtain blazed, a chair ignited, and Isaac saw the ghost of his mother-in-law - just before the smoke snuffed out his life.
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If you enjoyed this story do please leave a comment so I know you've been, and do feel free to browse the rest of my blog.
Friday Fictioneers is an online world-wide group of writers who use a photograph to prompt stories in just 100 words. Visit Rochelle's blog to read this week's other stories.
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/



38 comments:

  1. Another one that made me shiver! But he did deserve it...

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    1. He did indeed - never disrespect the mother-in-law!

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  2. Respecting the dead sounds like a healthy choice... lighting a cigarette... hmm very disrespectful

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    1. Respecting his wife's beliefs would have been good too.

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  3. Hmm, I guess dead is NOT dead, then, huh? Nice story!

    -JudahFirst

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  4. Great story! Immediate tension and leaves me wondering! Loved it!

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  5. Hmm, Never mock the wife let alone the mother in law !!

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    1. How true - and so many men never learn till it's too late!

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  6. Disrespect paid a high price. Very clever.

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    1. I suspect it wasn't the first time Isaac had disrespected his mother-in-law!

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  7. Always knew smoking was dangerous!

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  8. Poor Isaac. Still couldn't get the last word in. Nicely done.

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    1. Her revenge was rather too extreme!

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  9. That's mothers-in-law for you! Never forgive a slight. :)

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    1. Being the mother of two married daughters, I know what you mean! Only joking - I love both my sons-in-law.

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  10. Oh wow, you NEVER disrespect the wife and mother-in-law, especially at the same time! Great creepy little piece!

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    1. Cheers Jennie - I hope any man reading this story takes note!

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  11. That will teach him! Well done!

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    1. Thank you for reading and commenting Freya.

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  12. Ha, Lizy, I enjoyed this one. Too bad the m-i-l couldn't just burn him and leave the house for her daughter, but what do I know about it? :-)

    janet

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    1. well, maybe the smoke killed him and the house survived?

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  13. Ha-ha. What could be more base than lighting your cigarette in the flame of you mother-in-law's candle? Revenge is sweet.

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  14. Beware the wrath of the mother-in-law - even from beyond the grave. Loved it :)

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    1. Thank you ELA - mothers-in-law unite!!

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  15. A very good reason to be nice to your mother-in-law!

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  16. Dear Liz,

    And that's what he gets for smoking. ;) Oh yeah...and disrespecting his MIL. Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks Rochelle - though I'm not qualified to be superior about smokers - I only gave it up two years ago!

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  17. Two years is nothing to sneeze at....or choke on as it were. Good for you!

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  18. Revenge is sweet, even if it was from beyond the grave. Enjoyed reading your flash fiction. :-)

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    1. Thanks Maria - I hope you scrolled through to read more?

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