Pages

28.3.14

PUDDLE - Friday Fiction


PUDDLE

I don’t like the woods cos they’re dark and scary, but Mummy wanted to pick mushrooms. She said I could wear my new boots but I mustn’t get dirty or the bogeyman would get me.
The trees were waving their arms and I held Mummy’s hand, but then I saw a big puddle so I ran and jumped.
It made a huge muddy splash and Mummy yelled, “No!” so I stopped and turned round, but she’d disappeared and I couldn’t find her.
The bogeyman got her cos I jumped in that puddle - I’m really sorry.
I want Mummy back.

This story is my 100 word response to the photograph prompt provided by Rochelle on her blog:
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/

Friday fictioneers is an online group of writers - you can read the other stories by following the link on Rochelle's Blog.




26 comments:

  1. Love it! Like your earlier one featuring the bridge over the marsh, it rings bells with a motif that is never far from my own imagining.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We must have been separated at birth, Robert.

      Delete
  2. Oh, this is really sad. Poor child. Forgive me if I don't ever read this story again - very powerful, but too sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry Annalisa - it was the shadows in the woods that prompted the story.

      Delete
  3. The Bogeyman? As in Humphrey Bogart? No, I suppose not. Scary little story, this was.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A bogeyman is perhaps a typically English frightener.

      Delete
  4. Oh dear... I suspect she won't be getting dirty ever again...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poor child could live with guilt for ever.

      Delete
  5. Oh no, what a bad memory the child is going to hold forever or maybe night. Magic forests seem to rule with reason in most fair tales maybe they will this time. Thanks for the read - your story is wonderful! A pox on the bogeyman! Nan :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for that, Nan - perhaps his Mummy shouldn't have put the idea into his head?

      Delete
  6. Great story!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Like Alice in Wonderland, let's hope this little tyke makes his or her way home. Great take on the prompt!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alice in Wonderland scared me as a child and I still have noghtmares about being in a shrinking room. Childhood fears are powerful things.

      Delete
  8. Very intriguing, the child as narrator. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Jan - I feel it makes the story more vivid to have the child tell the story.

      Delete
  9. It was Mum's fault - she shouldn't have pinched the bogeyman's mushrooms.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Her mother is really hiding behind a tree to teach her a lesson for disobeying her (but what are boots for if not jumping into puddles!) and she will jump out any minute now! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love that you've written your own ending. My daughter does the same - she hates unhappy endings!

      Delete
  11. Dear Lizy,

    I foresee a future neat freak. I hope Mum comes back. Love the narrator's voice. Good one.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

    ReplyDelete
  12. The child is going to have a whole slew of hang-ups!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I like your POV, too. Children do take these sorts of things upon themselves, even things that really do happen, such as divorce or sickness. But as in your story also, parents often, wittingly or unwittingly, bring that frame of mind about. Good story filled with terrible sadness.

    janet

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you for your thoughtful comment Janet.

      Delete

Do leave a message before you go!