28/03/2014

PUDDLE - Friday Fiction


PUDDLE

I don’t like the woods cos they’re dark and scary, but Mummy wanted to pick mushrooms. She said I could wear my new boots but I mustn’t get dirty or the bogeyman would get me.
The trees were waving their arms and I held Mummy’s hand, but then I saw a big puddle so I ran and jumped.
It made a huge muddy splash and Mummy yelled, “No!” so I stopped and turned round, but she’d disappeared and I couldn’t find her.
The bogeyman got her cos I jumped in that puddle - I’m really sorry.
I want Mummy back.

This story is my 100 word response to the photograph prompt provided by Rochelle on her blog:
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/

Friday fictioneers is an online group of writers - you can read the other stories by following the link on Rochelle's Blog.




26 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. The bogeyman got her, Baggy - do try to keep up!

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  2. Love it! Like your earlier one featuring the bridge over the marsh, it rings bells with a motif that is never far from my own imagining.

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    1. We must have been separated at birth, Robert.

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  3. Oh, this is really sad. Poor child. Forgive me if I don't ever read this story again - very powerful, but too sad.

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    1. Sorry Annalisa - it was the shadows in the woods that prompted the story.

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  4. The Bogeyman? As in Humphrey Bogart? No, I suppose not. Scary little story, this was.

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    1. A bogeyman is perhaps a typically English frightener.

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  5. Oh dear... I suspect she won't be getting dirty ever again...

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    1. Poor child could live with guilt for ever.

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  6. Oh no, what a bad memory the child is going to hold forever or maybe night. Magic forests seem to rule with reason in most fair tales maybe they will this time. Thanks for the read - your story is wonderful! A pox on the bogeyman! Nan :)

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    1. Thanks for that, Nan - perhaps his Mummy shouldn't have put the idea into his head?

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  7. Like Alice in Wonderland, let's hope this little tyke makes his or her way home. Great take on the prompt!

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    1. Alice in Wonderland scared me as a child and I still have noghtmares about being in a shrinking room. Childhood fears are powerful things.

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  8. Very intriguing, the child as narrator. Well done!

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    1. Thanks Jan - I feel it makes the story more vivid to have the child tell the story.

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  9. It was Mum's fault - she shouldn't have pinched the bogeyman's mushrooms.

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  10. Her mother is really hiding behind a tree to teach her a lesson for disobeying her (but what are boots for if not jumping into puddles!) and she will jump out any minute now! :)

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    1. I love that you've written your own ending. My daughter does the same - she hates unhappy endings!

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  11. Dear Lizy,

    I foresee a future neat freak. I hope Mum comes back. Love the narrator's voice. Good one.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

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  12. The child is going to have a whole slew of hang-ups!

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  13. I like your POV, too. Children do take these sorts of things upon themselves, even things that really do happen, such as divorce or sickness. But as in your story also, parents often, wittingly or unwittingly, bring that frame of mind about. Good story filled with terrible sadness.

    janet

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    1. thank you for your thoughtful comment Janet.

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