30/01/2014

REPARATION

From outside it was simply an abandoned building, standing eerily silent with its memories.
Tall weeds proved the fire had happened years ago, but when I pushed through the rusted fence I could still smell smoke. 
A shaft of light blinded me momentarily, and when I looked again there was a man working at a bench.
“What are you making?” I asked.
“Reparation.” 
He pointed to the sign above us. “I broke the rule – twelve people died.” He raised his head and I saw a flash of intolerable pain. 
“Me included,” he added before he wavered and vanished like smoke.

The above story was written in response to the photo prompt supplied by Rochelle on her blog
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com
Other Friday Fictioneers' posts can be found here
http://new.inlinkz.com/luwpview.php?id=351912

Note: I almost didn't enter Friday Fictioneers this week. Why? Because the photo was far too apposite after my daughter suffered a fire at her apartment last Thursday!



22 comments:

  1. Being condemned forever ... Repairing the damages. Great take.

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    1. thanks Bjorn - though perhaps he chose his punishment?

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  2. I like your use of making reparation. Sorry about the fire at your daughter's. Everyone OK?

    janet

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    1. Thanks Janet - nobody hurt thank god.

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  3. Very good story lizy, it took me a bit to catch on but then I got it....thanks for sharing.

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  4. That haunting was really cool. Nice job!

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  5. Nice ghostly tale. Sorry about your daughter's horrible experience.

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  6. Really liked that story, Lizy.

    Hope your daughter is OK.

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  7. Thank you all for your comments. My daughter is fine though traumatised. Their apartment is a mess that we are gradually clearing up.

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  8. That was an interesting but chilling ghost story. I'm glad your daughter is OK after the fire. I also hope she recovers from her trama soon,

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  9. Well done and spooky story! Good luck to your daughter.

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  10. Creepy story but so sorry to hear about your daughter's fire.

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  11. Dear Liz,

    Chilling little ghost tale. Glad you read that your daughter's unhurt physically.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  12. Very clever. Poor spirit he has to "live" with that.

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  13. Thank you all again - we feel rather like that spirit living with and repairing the results of a moment's carelessness with a candle,

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  14. How scary and sad-to try making amends even after death!Well written and glad that your daughter and her family are safe:-)

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  15. This chilled me to the bone. How terrible for the spirit to have to go through an eternity of agony for one deadly mistake.

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  16. Atreyee and Samriddhi - I wonder if he will ever be free of guilt?

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  17. Good story. Sorry about your fire, very scary!

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    1. The repairs and redecorations after the fire are still in progress, but it's beginning to look more like their home now.

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