Here we go again with Friday Fictioneers - an online group who write 100-word stories each week prompted by a photo on Rochelle's blog site.
Do check out the other stories by following this link
BOXES
Billy and his mum never went out. All their food was delivered - the empty cardboard boxes
were Billy’s favourite toys.
One day Billy’s mum went to sleep and wouldn’t wake up.
Billy and Gizmo shared a box of cereal with orange juice
because Billy couldn’t open the milk. Gizmo was sick in the garden, then ran up the tree and
escaped over the box-like fence.
Billy was alone. His mum was still asleep and the television was scary so he
turned it off. Then it was too quiet.
When the delivery man looked through the letterbox he called
the police.
Ohhh, dark flash fiction.
ReplyDeleteLinda Rigsbee
It is a bit dark, isn't it? Where these thoughts come from is a mystery!
DeleteDear Lizy,
ReplyDeleteA child's-eye-view chiller. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
thanks Rochelle.
DeleteGreat little story. Thank god for the delivery man. And poor Billy. He must have been traumatised.
ReplyDeleteDelivery man to the rescue - someone had to.
DeleteOh this is a very sad tale... and so real in many ways.. these kids exist.
ReplyDeleteHope there was a good way back for poor Billy.
These kids DO exist - awful to imagine their lives, isn't it?
DeleteSuch a sad story.
ReplyDeletethanks for reading it anyway, Patsy.
DeleteVery effective to tell the story from the child's POV. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jan - I tried it from an observer's POV first but that didn't work.
DeletePainful and heartache in 100 words. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks SH - paring it down to 100 words made it even bleaker than the first draft.
DeleteGrim but a great story.
ReplyDeletethanks dctd - I almost didn't post it, knowing the child was Rochelle's!
DeleteA sad tale narrated convincingly.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sandra.
DeleteI guess I got here a bit late for an original comment but I agree with what's been written before this. :-) I can't imagine what that would do to a child. And I also wonder where ideas come from. May be better not to know!
ReplyDeletejanet
The ideas are purely imaginary, Janet - I had a lovely childhood!
DeleteSo tragic. Well written piece!
ReplyDeletethank you. Perhaps Billy will be happier with a foster family?
DeleteWritten with a light touch - making it so much more powerful.
ReplyDeletethank you Helen - your opinion means a lot!
DeleteSo sad - too quiet with the TV off? Yes, a lump in my throat right there. Love the child's perspective.
ReplyDeletethank you Annalisa - I'm glad the story touched you.
Delete